


Be Alright

by Cinnas_muse



Series: GOLD [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aged-Up Otabek Altin, Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe-No Figure Skating, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Dean Lewis Be Alright Inspired, Endgame Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Established Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Excessive Kazakh terms of endearment, Excessive Russian terms of endearment, Gratuitous use of song lyrics, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Leo de la Iglesia is a bro, M/M, Seung-gil is trying his best, This started as a one-shot and ended up over 21K, my bad - Freeform, this gets real depressing at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 06:45:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnas_muse/pseuds/Cinnas_muse
Summary: “I slept with him.”Otabek stops and looks at the man across from him, processing the four words that had just come out of Yuri’s mouth. He cocked his head to the side as it sunk in. His world shattering,  he stepped back and grabbed the counter for support. He was pretty sure his legs weren’t working as he gripped the counter tight, unsure that he wasn’t leaving marks in the wood with his fingers. He looked back down at the package of cigs before he roughly shoved them into his pocket, shoving his body away from the counter and towards the door.Otabek comes home from a day in the studio writing music for their band, GOLD's, next album and gets the earth shattering news that his Fiancé slept with his Best Friend. How will their relationships be tested as Otabek is stuck on tour for 3 weeks with his Best Friend? Can he find it in himself to forgive them?





	Be Alright

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Thank you so much for checking out my first Yuri!!! On Ice fic! I recently joined this fandom and I'm absolutely in love. I recently spiraled down the Viktuuri gateway drug that leads to Otayuri and now I'm here. I got inspiration for this fic from the Dean Lewis song 'Be Alright'. I hope you all enjoy it! 
> 
> I own no copyright to any of the characters or songs expressed in this fic.

Otabek slung his bag off his shoulder and onto the dark wooden floor in their apartment entryway, toeing off his boots before heading towards the kitchen where he could hear Yuri milling around. He found the blond scrubbing at their dirty dishes, music playing from the radio on the counter. Otabek pressed a quick kiss to the side of his neck before shrugging his jacket off and placing it around one of their dining chairs.

“Hey babe,” Otabek said turning back to the kitchen and propping himself on the counter opposite to Yuri. He noticed a box of Marlboro cigarettes sitting next to his elbow and quirked his brow before turning back towards Yuri, “was Mila over today?” Neither of them smoked, but a few of their friends did, it wasn’t that unusual to see some lying around their place. “Yuri?” He asked when the other man hadn’t even turned to look at him.

Otabek crosses the small expanse between them and turns Yuri towards him, a weight settling in his stomach when Yuri keeps his eyes fixed on the ground. “Yura?” Otabek tries to lift his chin with his finger tips, a stab of hurt hitting him in the stomach when Yuri pulls his jaw away from his hand. “Yuri? Honey? Why won’t you look at me?” He watches as Yuri steps out of the circle of his arm, taking a deep breath before his green eyes finally meet Otabek’s brown. Otabek immediately pulls Yuri back into his arms when he notices the unshed tears in the other man’s eyes.

“What’s wrong котенок?” Beka asks running a hand over Yuri’s arm, surprised when Yuri pulls away again.

“Don’t...Don’t call me that.” Yuri’s voice is rough, and Otabek can tell he is seconds away from either bursting into tears or screaming at him, one of the two.

“Why can’t I call you Kitten?I always call you that.” Otabek asks, confused.

“I don’t deserve you.” Yuri says quietly looking down at the floor again. Otabek pulls his chin up again to look in his eyes.

“Yura, what do you mean?”

“I made a mistake,” Yuri says a tear falling across his cheek, his voice breaking as he speaks again. “A stupid, dumb, awful mistake.”

“What mistake, Zhanym? Tell me and I can fix it.” Otabek replies running a finger over Yuri’s cheek to catch his tears, feeling another stab of hurt as Yuri pushes him away again.

“You can’t...You can’t fix this one.” Yuri responds looking over Otabek’s shoulder and taking a steadying breathe before meeting his eyes again. “The cigs aren’t Mila’s...They’re JJ’s…”

“So?” Otabek looks between the cigarettes in question before looking back at Yuri. “Did JJ do something? Do I have to talk to him again?” As Otabek’s best friend he wished JJ got along better with the love of his life. But, he knew how different their personalities were, they just clashed. “I’m sorry if he was an idiot, I’ve told him to text me if he was going to come over so that I’ll be her-”

“I slept with him.”

Otabek stops and looks at the man across from him, processing the four words that had just come out of Yuri’s mouth. He cocked his head to the side as it sunk in. His world shattering, he stepped back and grabbed the counter for support. He was pretty sure his legs weren’t working as he gripped the counter tight, unsure that he wasn’t leaving marks in the wood with his fingers. He looked back down at the package of cigs before he roughly shoved them into his pocket, shoving his body away from the counter and towards the door.

He could vaguely hear Yuri questioning him, following him, as Otabek grabbed his jacket and put his boots back on. Otabek couldn’t process right now, he just needed to leave, he brushed Yuri’s hand off his arm as he pulled his bag over his shoulder, grabbing his keys from his pocket as he exited their apartment.  
____________________________________________________________________________

Otabek found his bike following the familiar path towards Leo and JJ’s apartment, finding himself out front before he could think about what he was doing. His fist was raised and pounding on the door in mere seconds after he turned off his bike. He could hear Yuri’s voice in his head repeating those words over and over again, like the soundtrack from a nightmare. He barely registered the door opening before he saw Leo smiling at him.

“Beks! Hey! Di-”

“Is JJ here?” Otabek cuts him off.

“Yeah?” He glanced at Leo’s confused expression before he pushed inside, following the hallway to their living room where he found his best friend. Stopping in the doorway he heard Yuri’s voice in his head again.

“Beks! I thought you and Plisetsky had date night tonight?” JJ asked as he got up off the couch coming closer to Otabek. The cheerful tone of JJ’s voice had him seeing red, his hand curling into a fist at his side. Otabek feels himself blanking out in rage as his fist connects with JJ’s jaw, sending the other man backwards to grip the couch.

“Otabek! What the Fuck?!” Leo said from behind him, rushing over to help JJ up. Otabek pulls the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and flings them into JJ’s lap.

“You forgot those.” Otabek is surprised by the amount of seething rage he can hear in his normally monotone voice. Leo grabs the cigs as he looks at Otabek.

“What do you mean he forgot them? What is going on?!” He yelled looking between his two friends. JJ was looking up at Otabek, his gaze apologetic, but clearly at a loss for words.

“Why don’t you tell him what’s going on JJ? Huh?” Otabek asked quickly, “Tell him about how you fucked Yuri in OUR apartment. Tell him about how while him, Seung, and I were in the studio, recording, where you were supposed to be, you were having sex with MY fiancé. Tell him about that Jean.” Otabek could feel the tears prickling at the corner of his eyes, but he pushed them down, his voice hard and cold. He watched as each word he said caused JJ to physically recoil, a hard grimace on his face.

“Wait… you did WHAT?!” Leo yelled, turning to JJ in shock.

“Beks...Just let me...let me explain.” JJ said, his chin covered in a line of blood, his lip busted from where Otabek’s ring had impacted it.

“What explanation could you possibly have that I would accept?” Otabek set his steely glare on JJ. “You fucked my fiancé. The only person that I have ever been in love with. What explanation could you possibly have for that?”

“It’s...you’ve just been writing so much lately, and away from home for gigs and I started spending time with him on nights when you and Leo would disappear to write songs...and he called me today and he was upset so I thought...It just happened Beks...I..I..I don’t know what to say.”

“It. Just. Happened.” Otabek felt his hand clenching at his side again.

“Okay. No. Bad answer.” JJ held his hands up in front of himself, “It shouldn’t have happened Beks, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Pretty fucking late for that isn’t it? You should have thought about that before your dick was inside my fiancé.” Otabek took a step towards JJ, getting ready to raise his arm again when he felt Leo put a hand on his arm.

“JJ, I think you should go to Seung’s, I think we all need to cool down.” Leo turned to Otabek as he was finishing his sentence, keeping his hand firmly on Otabek’s wrist as JJ quickly left the apartment.

Otabek felt the rage seep out of his body as he took a deep breath, unable to keep the tears in his eyes at bay any more as they slipped down his cheeks. He vaguely registered Leo pushing him onto the couch before Leo walked into the kitchen. He walked back into the living room, holding a beer in his hand outstretched towards Otabek.

“Thanks.” Otabek nodded as he wiped a hand under his eyes, grabbing the beer and downing half in one gulp.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Leo asked as he sipped at his own beer.

“Not really.” Otabek responded shaking his head slightly.

“Alright.” Leo seemed like he probably wanted to say something more but he left it for now.

Otabek felt his phone buzz in the pocket of his jacket, sliding it out he felt his eyes watering up as he looked at the contact name and photo on his screen, the phone continuing to buzz as it rang. He remembers taking that photo of Yuri on their last vacation to Barcelona, remembers being entranced by the way the sun shined off his blond hair, the way his green eyes looked at Otabek with all the love in the world. He felt as Leo pulled his phone from his grasp, sliding his finger across the screen to answer. His speaker was loud enough for him to hear even with it pressed to Leo’s ear.

“Beka? Beka please, I can’t...Please just come home,” Yuri’s voice sounded broken, Otabek could tell that he must be crying, and it took everything in him to not pull the phone out of Leo’s grasp. “I can explain...pl-”

“Yuri, I think it would be best if you gave Otabek some space right now.” Leo’s voice was calm and even, but Otabek could see from the tense muscle in his jaw that he was angry.

“Leo? Leo! Please just put him on, Please! I need to tell him, I need to ex-”

“No. Yuri, You’ve done enough. If Otabek wants to talk to you he will call you.” Leo’s voice was a bit more forceful as he bit the words out, pulling the phone away from his ear and disconnecting the call. He gently placed the phone on the coffee table before standing. “Ok, well...I think we need something harder if we’re going to talk about this, and I think we need to talk about this.”

Otabek ran his hand over his face as he watched Leo come back from the kitchen carrying a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses. He sat them on the table next to Otabek’s phone, quickly pouring two generous shots as he handed one to Otabek.

“Bottom’s up.” Leo said as he knocked his back, Otabek doing the same, grimacing at the burn of the tequila in his throat. Otabek leaned forward to grab his phone as Leo poured another set of shots. His lock screen was a photo that JJ had taken of him and Yuri at Viktor and Yuuri’s vow renewal last summer, and just looking at it was bringing tears back to his eyes. “Ok, put the phone away.” Leo said as he pulled it out of his grasp and replaced it with the shot glass.  
“I...Just, I don’t know how to even process this Leo.” Otabek replied, looking at the tequila in the glass as it slid back and forth.

“Alright, then I won’t make you talk about it yet,” Leo said, turning towards Otabek on the couch. “I know you love him but, for tonight, you just need to let him go, so drink that, and lets forget, at least until tomorrow. Ok?” Leo held his shot up to Otabek’s as they knocked them back, Leo taking the glass to fill them up again. The two slowly slipping into a tequila haze as the sky turned black through the windows.  
___________________________________________________________________________

Otabek woke to the smell of black coffee and a to the feeling of his head getting split into two. He groaned as he rolled over, hoping and praying that the events of yesterday were just a bad nightmare and that he’ll wake up in his bed with Yuri next to him. But, he opens his eyes to see Leo and JJ’s living room, the blanket from the back of their couch laid over him.

“Hey, Otabek?” He hears a small voice from behind him and he turns his head towards the source, Guang Hong, “Leo made some coffee, and Seung is making crepes if you want some?”

“I’ll be there in a minute, thanks Guang Hong.” He says in a groggy voice as he slides his feet off the coach and onto the floor. He grabbed his phone from where it had slid under the table and grimaced as he looked at his lock screen again. He took a few deep breaths as he unlocked his phone and changed both his lock screen and background, selecting a picture of the sunset from his grandparents house in Almaty. Taking another deep breath he walked into the kitchen and sat at the open bar stool next to Guang Hong, taking the cup of coffee Leo offers him.

“So…” Leo started as he looked between the other two in the kitchen.

“I want to go to the studio.” Otabek said, grabbing the plate of crepes that Seung-gil held out to him. “It’s the only way I’ve ever worked through things in the past, I...I don’t know how else to approach this Leo.”

“Alright,” Leo says stabbing at his own crepe with vigor. “But, just know that I think after you work through this, however long that takes you, you should talk to them. Both of them.”

“Leo” Otabek said in a warning tone.

“No, Beks. I get it. What they did is shitty. It’s absolutely awful and I wouldn’t fault you if you never want to speak to either of them after you talk, but you need to talk to them. You and Yuri have been together for almost 10 years, that just doesn’t disappear. And JJ has been your best friend since you were 11, don’t let their stupid mistake take away the two most important people in your life. ”

“You think that I haven’t thought about that? It’s for that exact reason that this hurts so much, when I close my eyes I can’t stop seeing them together.” Otabek asks, running a hand over his face.

“That’s fair, but it’s also the reason that I think you three can get through this. Maybe not for a long time, and I don’t think you’ll all ever have the same relationship as you did before, but, they both mean too much to you for you to just push them away entirely.” Leo rested his palm on Otabek’s shoulder, squeezing gently before going back to his food.

“He’s right Otabek.” Seung-gil said from where he sat across from Leo. “But, for today let’s just go to the studio.”

“Ok,” Otabek responded, the group falling into silence as they all ate their food.  
___________________________________________________________________________  
Otabek set his bag down on the large couch in the mixing room as they got into their given studio. They had been tasked a few months ago to write their third album by their label, being told that they would schedule minimal touring so that they would have as much time as they needed to write. Prior to yesterday that had been all that Otabek was worried about, the fact that they were behind on their album, now it couldn’t seem further from his mind.

He powered up his laptop after pulling it from his bag and connected it to his Ableton Push set-up in the opposite room, set up next to Leo’s mic and Seung-gil’s drum pad. He pulled out his headphones and plugged them into his laptop before grabbing the hook-up for the sound board and connecting that.

“Alright, I have a few ideas, I’m gonna try to get some lyrics written and a basic electronic mock and then we can track them with Leo...you guys feel free to get your stuff set up to your liking.” Otabek turned his focus to his laptop, reaching into his bag and grabbing his journal. He opened to a clean page and started writing, letting yesterday wash over him. He’s finished what he thinks could be a verse before he turns to try to find Leo. “Hey Leo? Wanna come help me with this? What do you think of this?” He asks, lifting the page up for him as he sings a melody to go with the words.

 _I look up from the ground_  
_To see your sad and teary eyes_  
_You look away from me_  
_And I see there's something you're trying to hide_  
_And I reach for your hand but it's cold_  
_You pull away again_  
_And I wonder what's on your mind_  
_And then you say to me you made a dumb mistake_  
_You start to tremble and your voice begins to break_  
_You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's_  
_They were my mate's_  
_And I feel the color draining from my face_

“What do you think?” Otabek asks, trying to feel as detached from his writing as possible, feeling his eyes burn with unshed tears that he blinks away.

“It’s..damn Beks, that’s painful..good..but painful..” Leo says, reaching to grab a pencil and scribble in the book. “What do you think of this for a chorus line?”

 _And my friend said_  
_"I know you love him, but it's over, mate_  
_It doesn't matter, put the phone away_  
_It's never easy to walk away, let him go_  
_It'll be alright_  
_It's gonna hurt for a bit of time_  
_So bottoms up, let's forget tonight_  
_You'll find another and you'll be just fine_  
_Let him go"_

“Way to insert yourself in my song Leo.” Otabek says in fake offence.

“Hey, you wanted my input, plus it sounds good.” Leo says smiling, walking to help Seung-gil connect his drum pad.

“Yeah, yeah, you have a point.” Otabek, writes out a bridge before he gets stuck halfway through the second verse. “Hey, how does this sound? ‘But it's not the fact that you kissed him yesterday, It's the feeling of betrayal, that I just can't seem to shake, and everything I know tells me that I should walk away, But I just want to stay.’”

“I like it, you ready to track a vocal mock yet?” Leo asked

“Eh, give me like, 10 minutes? I’m gonna get a few layers in here first.” Otabek replies turning to his laptop and opening a new Ableton project, making sure his Push is connected correctly before he gets in the zone.  
___________________________________________________________________________  
It was 9pm before Otabek, Leo, and Seung-gil left the studio, having mocked up two new tracks fully and the basics for another. Otabek’s head felt much clearer, the rough emotions all left in the lyrics of the songs they had tracked into Ableton.

“Well, I guess we can say one good thing to come out of this completely shit situation is that we have enough tracks to finish our album now?” Leo said in a slightly joking tone, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, I guess.” Otabek scoffs, adjusting the strap of his bag over his shoulder.

“Right on time too,” Seung-gil responded. “Since we go on tour on Saturday.”

“Damn, I forgot that it was so soon, what...what are we going to do about the JJ situation?” Leo asked looking at Otabek.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, I don’t know that we can be on tour together without me killing him.” Otabek responded in a tight voice.

“No, I get that. But, he’s part of this band too, I mean it’s only for a few songs, right?” Leo asked, looking over at Seung-gil.

“Correct. I could probably create a sample to play it via your Push instead, Otabek.” Seung-gil responded after pausing a moment in thought. “Shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“Ok, let’s talk to Viktor in the morning about it and see what he thinks, he’ll probably make us bring him, but, maybe we can avoid it.” Otabek said slowly before he pushed a hand over his face. “I need to get my stuff from my apartment.” He pretended to not notice the concerned look that passed between Seung-gil and Leo.

“I can call and make sure he isn’t there when you go get your stuff…” Leo interjects into Otabek’s thought process “You can stay with Seung or I until we leave in a few days.”

“I...I think I need to talk to him,” Otabek says sighing “before we leave. I’ll stay with Seung-gil, but, I think I need to clear some things up before we leave for the next three weeks.”

“Ok, are you sure you’re ready to do that tonight?” Leo asks, concern clear in his voice.

“No, but I need to do it.” Otabek replies as they finally reach where they had parked Seung-gil’s car. “Hey, Seung-gil do you think you could drive me there? I don’t want you to come in, but, I can’t carry enough shit for three weeks on my bike.”

“Yeah, let’s drop off Leo and then we can go.” Seung-gil responded as he turned the key in the ignition, pulling them safely away from the curb and into the dark London evening.  
____________________________________________________________________________

Otabek felt like a stranger as he unlocked the front door to their apartment with his key. Even though it had only been a day since he’d last been here, he thought that something should’ve been out of place, that something in their physical space should’ve changed to reflect how much everything between them had changed.

He took a deep breath as he stepped in, shutting the door as quietly as possible, but still hearing Yuri’s soft steps through the hall from their bedroom.

“Beka?” His voice sounded rough with tears as Otabek turned to look at him. His cheeks and nose were red, his eyes puffy and he still looked so breathtakingly beautiful that Otabek had to take a deep breath before he spoke.

“Yeah.” He didn’t know what else to say, seeing Yuri like this he longed to pull him close and run a soothing hand through his hair. But the sharp pain of betrayal stung like ice in his heart and he couldn’t push himself forward.

“Beka.” Yuri said around another sob, stepping closer to Otabek. Otabek stops him before Yuri’s arms can wrap around his body.

“Yura, I can’t,” Otabek says with strain in his voice, feeling the sting of tears in his own eyes.

“Beka, please, I...I can’t lose you.” Yuri cried, standing a foot away, his hands gripping at the oversized sweatshirt he was wearing, Otabek’s sweatshirt.

“I’m not saying no forever, I don’t...I don’t think I could do that,” Otabek takes a steadying breath. “But Yuri, you slept with my best friend, I need some time to get my head around that, and I need some space from you. Seeing you like this all I want to do is wrap my arms around you and comfort you, but everytime I look at you all I think about is the two of you together.”

“Ok,” Yuri takes a deep shaky breath, sniffling as he tries to stop his running nose. “But, how long Beka? It was the biggest mistake of my life, it only made me realize how much I love you, and only want to be with you. I will do anything Beka, please.”

“Fuck Yuri, you shouldn’t need to sleep with another guy to realize that you only want to be with me. You should just know that.” Otabek feels his voice break as a few tears slide down his cheeks.

“I know Beka, I know. I screwed up, so badly, but I will do anything.” Yuri pleaded.

“Just give me some space ok? I’m going to stay with Seung-gil until we leave on Saturday. We’ll be gone for a few weeks and when we get back...then we’ll revisit this conversation ok? It just hurts too much to look at you right now.” Otabek looked up at Yuri, resisting the urge to push back the strand of hair that had fallen out of his braid .

“Ok, Beka.” Yuri responded, pushing the hair back himself, “I’ll just be in the kitchen if you need me.”

Otabek stepped away from him walking down the hall to their bedroom. He tried to push his thoughts away from the nightmare of JJ and Yuri in their bed as he grabbed his suitcase from the closet. He threw clothes into the bag without really thinking about what they were, convinced that most of his wardrobe was monotone colors anyways so something was bound to match. He walked into their bathroom and grabbed his toiletries with precision, trying not to dwell on how alien it felt to see Yuri’s toothbrush sitting in the cup on their counter alone.

With all the essentials packed into his bag he walked across the hall to his personal studio, packing up his extra gear into his bag with care. He efficiently put his keyboard into its case and zipped it closed, hefting the straps onto his bag as he looked around the studio for anything he could’ve missed. He took a deep breath as he slid his bag onto his shoulder, opening the door and preparing himself to leave his apartment. He got as far as the front door before Yuri’s voice stopped him.

“Beka, I...I understand that you need space but, just know that I still love you, so so much.” the light from the kitchen reflected like a halo off his golden hair when Otabek looked over at him.

“I know.” was all he responded with before he opened the front door, and walked out.  
___________________________________________________________________________

Otabek watched the pedestrians along the sidewalk as they drove downtown for their meeting with Viktor the next day. He leaned his head back against the seat as they pulled into the garage under their manager’s building, Seung-gil rolling down the window to show their pass to the guard. Swinging into a space, Seung-gil turned off the car and they just sat for a moment in silence. This was what Otabek always liked about Seung-gil, he knew when Otabek just wasn’t in the mood to talk, and was more than happy to sit in silence together.

“We should probably go, Leo and JJ will be waiting for us.” Seung-gil said after a few minutes of silence, looking over at Otabek with his cool gray eyes.

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“Otabek, you know we’re both, Leo and I, here for you.” Otabek looked back up at Seung-gil in surprise. “Both of you are our friends, but we’re here for you.” Otabek just nodded, getting out of the car and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

They took the elevator up to the lobby of their manager, unsurprised when they see JJ and Leo sitting off to the side on one of the plush couches. Leo is speaking to JJ in a hushed voice, enough that Otabek can’t make out what he is saying. There is a purple bruise on JJ’s jaw, his lip swollen and split , and he looks absolutely dejected. Otabek fights against the cloud of sympathy that claws its way into his heart. He refuses to feel bad, JJ did much worse to him. The two on the couch turn when they notice Seung-gil and Otabek walking towards them.

“Beks!” JJ starts to try to stand but Leo pushes him back onto the couch.

“Don’t JJ, let him decide when he wants to talk to you. Now is not the time or the place for that discussion.” Leo hisses at him, looking around the lobby.

Otabek choose the chair furthest from JJ as they all sit and wait, Seung-gil and Leo speaking in quiet sentences about their upcoming tour. Otabek could feel JJ’s eyes on him, but he pointedly refused to look at him, pulling his journal out of his bag and focusing on that instead, scribbling ideas for lyrics to their one unfinished song. It wasn’t long before Viktor’s assistant came out ushering them into the office, four chairs sat in front of a long metal and glass desk. Otabek took the chair furthest from the door, feeling comforted when Seung-gil sat next to him, and then Leo next to him. Otabek let his eyes wander over the minimal amount of things laid out over Viktor’s desk, and the few awards behind him on the wall. Otabek’s eyes automatically drift towards the one from their first single ‘2/14’ going gold.

Otabek thinks back on when they first signed with Viktor when they were all just out of secondary school, just a group of idiot teenagers with a dream. Now, here they were, dream fully in their grasp and it couldn’t be less important to Otabek at that moment. He was pulled from his reverie as the door opened and Viktor walked in, unbuttoning his suit jacket as he sat down at his desk looking between the four of them.

“So, who is ready to go on tour in two days?!” He asked, smiling, a smile which quickly dropped when none of them reacted too enthusiastically. “Alright, what happened? Why are you all acting like it’s the end of the world?”

“There, there was a situation…” Leo said looking between Otabek, JJ and Viktor.

“A situation…” Viktor trailed off looking between Otabek and JJ and back, “What kind of situation?”

“Did you listen to the tracks we did yesterday?” Leo asked, trying to avoid the topic.

“Yes, they were good, a little more depressing than the rest of the album but….”He trailed off as Otabek saw the pieces beginning to fall into place in Viktor’s head. “ Wait, are they related to the ‘situation’? Leo?”

“Well, it’s ah..not really my story to tell?” Leo looked flustered, looking to Otabek with questioning eyes, clearly unsure about airing Otabek’s personal business to their manager who was also Yuri’s cousin. Otabek watched as Viktor’s gaze followed Leo’s over to him.

“Otabek? What does Leo mean?” He asked one eyebrow raised, or at least Otabek thought it was only one, the other was always covered by his hair.His eyes drifted from one band member to the next, a clear question in his eyes. “Will someone just tell me what is going on?” He asked when Otabek didn’t respond.

“I slept with Yuri.” JJ answered in a small voice, shrinking back into his seat. Otabek watched Viktors eyes widen in surprise before he opened his mouth to respond, Otabek speaking quickly to cut him off.

“Nope, we’re not talking about this. I understand that you wouldn’t let us kick him off the tour because that would be a logistical nightmare at this point. But, I don’t know that I can control my temper around him right now, so I’m just asking that you keep him as far away from me as possible.” Otabek ground out, refusing to look at any of his band members.

“Ah, ok” Viktor clearly looked like he wanted to say more but he kept his mouth in a firm line. “That does make this tour a little more complicated. But, I will try to rearrange some interviews and things so that the two of you are not doing anything alone together. I would like to request that you can at least be civil towards each other, simply for the sake of this tour. I will not have all your hard work derailed because the two of you can’t be friendly for the sake of your fans.”

Otabek just nods, leaning back into his chair as Viktor starts going over the finer logistical details of their tour, stops, interviews, plans to record a music video. He vaguely heard it all, but figures Leo will give him the rundown later so he lets his mind wander as he stares out the window, letting Viktor’s voice become white noise.  
___________________________________________________________________________

It was well past dark when they landed in New York on Saturday, which meant Otabek felt like he should’ve been asleep hours upon hours ago. Otabek adjusted his keyboard on his back as they all grabbed their luggage from customs after landing. He slid his bag over his shoulder and grabbed the handle for the travelling case for his gear, pulling it behind him. They were famous enough as a band to have quite the roadie team along with them, but he still liked keeping track of his own gear. Years of handling all their own gigs and being their own roadies stuck him into his routine.

“Team meeting in 5, driving away in 3. Put your stuff in your bunks and meet me at the front to discuss logistics.” Otabek heard Viktor shout from the open door of the tour bus when they approached. He handed off his keyboard and gear case to the guy loading the cargo hold before taking the steps up into the bus. He walked back and threw his bag onto his bunk, grabbing his laptop before heading back up front and sitting next to Viktor at the table. Leo was also seated already, his earphones in as he spoke with Guang Hong on FaceTime, a large smile on his face.

“Enjoy the flight Otabek?” Viktor asked, looking up briefly from his own laptop to smile at Otabek.

“Eh, wasn’t too bad, we’ve definitely had worse.” He ran a hand over his neck, as his laptop booted up.

“Oh I’m sure,” Viktor said with heavy sarcasm before slipping into Russian, “ I know that you don’t really want to talk about it, but, if you ever do, I’m all ears ok? You’re one of the best things to ever happen to that kid, and while I may not know exactly what goes through his head, I know better than most .”

“ Thanks, I’ll...keep that in mind.” Otabek responds back in Russian, trying to keep his thoughts from going down a dark trajectory. One that starts with ‘I thought I knew him better than most’ and ends somewhere along the lines of ‘Maybe I don’t know anything about him at all’. He looks back over at his laptop as he pulls up the google doc with their shared schedule and set plan, noticing Leo hanging up with Guang Hong in his periphery.

“What’s with all the Russian? Are you two plotting something?” Leo asks smiling as he pulls out his earphones, setting his phone down as Seung-gil slides into the seat next to him.

“Just chatting. I enjoy having another Russian speaker around,” Viktor says with a bright smile, “There is something very reassuring about speaking in one’s mother tongue.” Otabek mentally commends his ability to think on his feet. “ Alright- JJ! Get over here!” Viktor yells towards the back, JJ rushing over and sliding in next to Seung-gil, Otabek avoids eye contact. “Alright, first I want to finalize your set list for tomorrow night, I think your idea to leave ‘Free Animal’ as your encore song is a smart plan, but I think you should edit the order slightly to reflect the new tracks you guys wrote this week.”

“Yeah, I was thinking that we could make ‘Be Alright’ into a break for JJ and Seung?” Leo asked, changing the order on their google doc. “I can handle the guitar part on that one, and Beks has the patches all set up. Thought it could be a little more personal that way? What do you think Beks?”

“Yeah that works for me.” He says making a note in his personal notes to change the set-up of his Ableton presets. “And, I have another song that we could add? It’s just electronics and voice so if Leo can learn the vocals we could add it?”

“Yeah, we can practice it tonight or tomorrow in the morning.” Leo notes, looking between the three others.

“Good,” Viktor notes, turning to his laptop. “Ok, so starting the set with ‘2/14’ seems like a good idea to me, gets your fans hooked before you introduce new material. I think the only thing you should change now is to put ‘Glitter and Gold’ and ‘Horns’ towards the end of your set, they’re good, and will pull the mood back up from the break.”

“Sounds good.” Leo noted the changes in the document before turning to JJ and Seung-gil, “Anything you two want to change?”

“I would suggest moving ‘My Thoughts on You’ to right after the break, so that JJ can just have a longer break and then come back out, rather than leaving stage twice.” Seung-gil notes, pointing towards the middle section of their set.

“Agreed, good idea.” Viktor made the change before scrolling down to the next part. “Ok, so, we have a drive to Boston for the show tomorrow, then back this way across the east coast, Up through Nashville, and then we end in three weeks with two shows in Chicago. I’ll give you each a schedule for each city we are going to be in with interview and sound check information. Leo and Otabek, you guys will have the busiest schedule.” They both nodded as Viktor took a deep breath, “Alright, go get some sleep, we’ll have free time tomorrow before the gig and I’ll have schedule’s for you when you get up.”

Otabek shuts his laptop, getting up and preparing to walk back to his bunk as Leo grabs his arm pulling him to the couch near the front of the bus. “ Let’s listen to your song and decide how much we need to practice it tomorrow.”

“Sure.” Otabek responds, leaning back into the leather of the couch.

“Ok, lemme go grab my guitar and we can also run through ‘Be Alright’, I wanna double check that I know the chord progression.”

“Can you grab my mixing headphones? They’re in the outside pocket of my bag.” Otabek calls back to him, noticing Seung-gil sliding into one of the chairs across from the couch with his battered up copy of ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’.

Leo returns and hands him the procured headphones, gripping his guitar with one hand. He sits cross-legged next to Otabek letting the guitar rest across his lap. They won’t get much sound out of it since they can’t plug in, but that’s probably for the best anyways.

“So, what’s this new song?” Leo asks, pushing his hair back from his face.

“Well, it’s the stuff that I mocked when we were in the studio, but I thought up some lyrics the other night…” Otabek grimaces slightly.

“Why are you making that face? What are the lyrics?” Leo asks laughing.

“Well, it’s...While I was at Seung’s I thought about...I don’t know...hooking up with someone to...not get back at...but maybe get over, Yuri? And I guess that’s where this came from.” Otabek connected the headphones and handed them to Leo. “I tracked my own vocal to it, but, I think it’d sound better with you.”

“Wait, can I hear too?” Seung-gil asked, not looking up from his book.

Otabek sighed, reaching and unplugging the headphones, checking the volume level on his laptop before pressing play. The beat was slow but steady, almost like a heartbeat as the lyrics started.

_Running from the morning_  
_Think I hit a wall_  
_Late nights, not you_  
_Running from the moment_  
_So I don’t recall_  
_Late nights, not you_  
_Waking up in a cold sweat_  
_Someone else in this cold bed_  
_I’d do anything to not be alone_  
_All alone with the ceiling_  
_All alone with this feeling_  
_And I wonder if I’ll ever let go_

  
The beat disappears, leading into the pre-chorus as he watched Leo and Seung-gil’s faces for any strong reactions.

_I tried spending my nights under_  
_Someone new_  
_But the truth is_  
_I could spend my whole life getting over you_  
_Yeah yeah yeah_

  
The beat drops, Otabek noticing Leo moving his head in subtle motions.

_Getting over you_  
_Getting over you_  
_Getting over you_  
_Getting over you_  
_Getting over you_  
_Getting over you_

_Drowning in my coffee_  
_To wash the alcohol_  
_Out my bloodstream_  
_Sitting here I wonder_  
_If we hadn’t been at all_  
_Who would I be?_  
_Waking up in the cold sweat_  
_Someone else in this cold bed_  
_And I wonder if I’ll ever let go_

  
Otabek nods along with the second verse, trying to imagine it with Leo’s smooth tenor instead of his own deep Baritone. The last few days have been good for him, he thinks it’s been good to just focus on preparing for the tour, it’s been a welcome distraction at least. His voice in the recording sounds rough, rougher than normal. He remembers recording it late at night in Seung-gil’s guest bedroom, rigging together the best mic set up he could manage with his home gear. He watches the other two men as the song continues, chorus coming back stronger and building and layering towards the end, pulling back into chorus of voices as it fades out.

  
“So…?” Otabek asks looking up between Leo and Seung-gil, he vaguely notices JJ inching closer towards their small group, clearly hesitant to push past a boundary. Otabek feels a small pang of guilt as JJ turns and decides to settle at the table instead, tapping away at his phone. He pushes the feeling down, ignoring how it feels like physically ripping his own heart out.

  
“Damn Beks.” Leo says with a wolfish grin, lightly punching Otabek on the arm. “I think you just wrote us another hit single.”

  
“Really? You think it’s that good?” Otabek laughed looking over at Seung-gil, who just nodded, going back to his book.

  
“Definitely. I think we should keep your vocal laying on the chorus’s though, the harmonies are good and I think they’ll lay nicely with a lead.” Leo says shifting into what Otabek and JJ had coined ‘songwriter mode’.

  
“Should I just add ‘Back up vocals’ as well as all the other shit I do for this band?” Otabek replied in jest, feeling himself smile fully for the first time in what feels like eons of time.

  
“Yeah, yeah. Anyways,” Leo said turning to look down at Otabek’s laptop, “Can you show me the chord progression for ‘Be Alright’ again? I want to make sure I got it down. Though, I’m still going to argue that you should sing this one yourself Beks.” He glanced at Otabek out of the corner of his eye.

  
“I just...don’t know if I could do that Leo.” Otabek looks over at where JJ sits at the table, clearly pretending that he is not listening to them. “It’s just, too raw...you can be removed from it.”

  
“That’s exactly why you need to sing it! I can’t get the emotions quite right behind it, but I know you can.” Leo said pointedly, “Just, try it for me? Please?”

  
Otabek sighs as he looks over at Leo, glancing back again to JJ before he nods slowly at Leo. He quickly pulls up the chart on his laptop for Leo before starting the tracked version of the song, muting out the vocal line.

  
His voice feels raw as he starts the verse, focusing on his hands to keep his eyes from drifting towards JJ. He hears the sound of Leo struggling through the chords next to him as the track plays on, turning his eyes to him as he starts the chorus. He notices JJ in his periphery no longer pretending that he isn’t paying attention to them, his focus clearly on Otabek and Leo on the couch.

  
Otabek focuses on each word individually to keep himself from connecting too deeply, refusing to break down like that in the middle of the song. His eyes drift to JJ when he sings about betrayal, not realizing until now just how much that line was for him.  
The lyrics near the end were ones embellished by Leo and it feels easier to sing them, to pretend that their about some other couple, some other friends. It feels cathartic to think about how no matter how bad this whole situation is he can’t feel that amount of resentment towards Yuri or JJ. He would never be the one to write a ‘screw you’ type break up song, he just cared too deeply about those close to him, no matter what atrocious things they had done to him.

  
He didn’t feel like JJ deserved to know that yet though, Otabek might have already started to forgive them, but he wasn’t ready to tell either of them that. Wasn’t ready to make them think that they were completely cool. The amount of resentment and betrayal he felt when he looked at either of them was still like a thin blade directly to his heart. So, even though the compassionate part of him wanted to fix things, he let the selfish part win, for now.  
____________________________________________________________________________  
**Exclusive interview with GOLD’s Otabek Altin and Leo de la Iglesia**

  
written by: Lauren Kominsky for Boston Music Spotlight

  
BMS:Great to see you guys back in the States! How have you enjoyed your time here so far?  
LI: It’s been good so far, we just got in a few days ago, if all the shows go as well as our show last night I’m excited for what our American audience has in store for us.  
BMS: You guys recently finished your third studio album, was there more pressure on you after how big of a hit ‘Black Bear’ was?  
LI: Yeah, we finished the last tracks barely two days before we got on the plane here...down to the wire as always, huh Beks?  
OA: I think this time we took the procrastination a bit far. There definitely was more pressure this time around. With our first album it was songs we had been playing since we were kids, had been writing for literal years.  
LI: And with the second, it was the first time we were given all these new resources, and had all these new life experiences to write about. It was easy to forget that we were writing a major album, and too easy to forget to worry about how popular the album or the singles would be.  
OA: This time though? That wasn’t as easy to forget about.  
LI: Thankfully this guy writes music to work out his feelings or we wouldn’t have an album at all.  
BMS: Yes, after the show last night it seems that there will be a few more personal songs on this album. Fans all over the internet are going crazy over the first videos being posted about last night. Most of them being surprised at you, Otabek, singing for the first time at a GOLD show.  
OA: I’ve always written songs from my heart, and from my experiences in life. For me, It was always better to have Leo sing them, let me detach from some of the worse experiences in life. But, Leo thought it was better for me to sing it, so we decided to give it a shot. I’m glad the fans have embraced it so easily.  
BMS: The new material you guys played seems to be leaning more into your electronic roots, how has the songwriting process changed for you guys between this album and ‘Black Bear’?  
LI: While I’d like to say we made a conscious decision to lean more electronic or lean more rock, it usually just depends on who originally started working on the track. I’ll usually bring something in and play it on Piano or guitar, Seung-gil tends to go full electronic, Otabek brings in stuff somewhere between the two of us. I feel like when writing this album, Beks and Seung would get into a great headspace where they could work on adding new electronic loops that I would never be able to imagine. It’s a collaborative process that just tended toward the electronic side of the spectrum this time.  
OA: Leo and I seemed to be the two most inspired to write, so that tended to happen whenever Seung-gil would add in his two cents as well.  
BMS: And JJ? What kind of lens does he bring to GOLD’s songwriting process?  
LI: JJ is a valued member of this band, and he wrote most of our original hits with Otabek, but he wasn’t as involved in the process for this album.  
BMS: You debuted a track you guys collaborated on with pop diva Sara Crispino, at your show yesterday, how did that writing process work?  
OA: Well, I mostly had the entire track written before Sara came into the studio with us, and had laid out a bridge section for her to riff over and she came up with some lyrics on the spot. It was one of the most collaborative and easy writing sessions I’ve ever experienced for sure.  
BMS: Well, thanks for sitting down and talking about the new album guys, good luck on the rest of your tour.  
LI:Thanks  
OA: Yeah, Thank you.

  
_Check the band’s website at GOLDband.com to find a tour location near you and to purchase tickets._  
__________________________________________________________________________  
**The Members of GOLD Take a Friendship Test |Glamour**

Transcript:

  
Otabek glaring at the camera as it slides from a shot of him and Seung-gil to just him.

Otabek: This is gonna get sappy isn’t it? Why on earth did you guys match the two of us together?

  
Otabek laughs as the camera slides toward Seung-gil who just silently shrugs his shoulders.

  
The camera flips to JJ, standing alone against the white backdrop.

  
JJ: I met Leo at a gig when we were 15? Maybe 16? Otabek and I had been doing regular gigs at this bar/restaurant that his uncle owns

  
The Camera switches to Leo, going back and forth as the two speak.

  
Leo: I met JJ when I was 17, I had just heard him and Otabek play a show,

  
JJ: and Leo walks up with his boyfriend Guang Hong and just goes “You guys should call yourselves ‘The Undercut bros’”

  
Leo: I honestly remember thinking something else, but that was what came out as a greeting,not my brightest moment i’ll give you that.

  
JJ: No ‘hi’ no ‘nice playing’, just straight into that. I, of course immediately started laughing.

  
Leo: I guess my first impression of JJ was honestly, that he seemed like a little bit arrogant, maybe a little overbearing.

  
JJ: Leo probably said I was arrogant didn’t he?

  
Leo: Which I was completely accurate about, but it becomes more endearing as you hang out with the guy I suppose.

  
The camera switches over to Seung-gil, standing with his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

  
Seung-gil: I met Otabek at a party hosted by one of our mutual friends.

  
Otabek: We had both been invited to this party at Phichit’s, celebrating something, maybe someone’s birthday?

  
Seung-gil: I remember seeing Otabek across the room, he was leaning against the wall, well away from most of the people at the party. He had what the internet refers to as ‘Resting Bitch Face’

  
Otabek: I’m not a huge fan of parties, but, I remember seeing Seung from across the room, and recognized a kindred spirit I suppose, he seemed just as happy to be there as I was.

  
Seung-gil: I guess my first impression was that he was like me, maybe that he would be someone I would get along with.

 **Exercise One** _stare into each other’s eyes for three minutes_  
The camera flips to Leo and JJ standing a few feet apart gazing into each other’s eyes.

  
JJ: Hmm, I never noticed that your eyes have some gold flecks in them Leo.

  
Leo: Oh, yeah, they do. Yours are a really interesting shade of Blue.

  
JJ: This feels weird.

  
Leo: What you’re saying it’s not normal for us to gaze into each other’s eyes for this long?

  
JJ: No. We’re not like Otabek and Seung.

  
Leo struggles to keep his eyes open as he laughs

  
Leo: yeah, they definitely just sat in total silence doing this didn’t they?

  
The Camera shifts to Otabek and Seung-gil staring at each other, saying nothing for a solid five seconds before switching back.

  
JJ: Those two a weird about intense eye contact.

  
Leo: Indeed.

  
JJ: I don’t think I’ve ever looked in your eyes this much before.

  
Leo: I don’t think I’ve ever looked in anyone’s eyes this much before.

  
The camera switches back to Otabek and Seung-gil who both have a monotone expression on their faces.

  
Seung-gil: This is easier than I thought it would be.

  
Otabek: Not too bad.

  
Seung-gil: Is it wrong to maintain eye contact with the person you are speaking to?

  
**Exercise Two** _Give each other compliments_  
The camera flips back to Otabek and Seung-gil, both still wearing monotone expressions.

  
Otabek: As someone who has difficulty completing tasks in a timely manner, I really admire your time management skills. You follow your plan and know exactly how much time we need to devote to something. You keep the rest of us on track.

  
Seung-gil: Thank you, Otabek.

  
Otabek: You’re Welcome.

  
The camera flips to JJ and Leo.

  
Leo: This is gonna sound super shallow, but, I’ve always really loved your style JJ. Maybe we could equate that to your confidence?

  
JJ: Hah ‘JJ Style’

  
Leo: You just always seem so at home in your skin, you’re definitely the biggest ‘showman’ of our group, which is good when you have Otabek and Seung-gil around.

  
JJ: Very true. Thanks.

  
Leo: Anytime.

  
The camera flicks back to Otabek and Seung-gil, going momentarily to a close-up on Seung-gil’s face.

  
Seung-gil: I greatly admire your determination Otabek. You are the first person to start the fight and the last person to give up. You have great strength.  
Otabek: Thanks Seung.

  
Seung-gil just nods in response before the camera flips to a close up of JJ.

  
JJ: I really value your optimism Leo. You are always the most positive one between the four of us, you never let any of us get too far into the dumps. You’re always the one that will help any of us cheer up, and you’re great for advice.

  
Leo: Thanks JJ, that means a lot actually.

  
JJ: You mean a lot.

  
Leo rolls his eyes, reaching out to pat JJ on the shoulder, shaking his head fondly.

  
**Exercise Three** _Hug each other for three minutes_  
The camera switches to Otabek and Seung-gil awkwardly stepping towards each other. They wrap their arms around each other loosely, Seung-gil wrapping his arms around Otabek’s lower shoulders.

  
Otabek: I don’t like this.

  
Seung-gil: I’m not particularly happy about this situation either.

  
The camera flips to JJ holding Leo to his chest who is looking towards the camera.

  
Leo: You’re really warm.

  
JJ laughs, patting Leo’s back.

  
JJ: Thanks?

  
Leo: You picked a good shirt for this today, it’s soft.

  
JJ: I’m glad.

  
The camera flips back to Otabek and Seung-gil, who are mostly a conglomerate of Black fabrics and hair.

  
Otabek: This is really warm. Like, too warm.

  
Seung-gil: Yeah, you’re like a furnace, man.

  
**Exercise Four** _Trust falls_  
The camera first shows Otabek standing with his arms across his chest, behind him are Seung-gil and Leo, holding out their arms together.

  
Leo: You ready?

  
Otabek: As long as you’re going to catch me.

  
Leo: Duh.

  
Otabek falls back, being gently pushed back up by Leo and Seung-gil.

  
Leo: Wasn’t that nice?

  
Otabek: I guess?

  
The next shot shows Leo standing in front of all three of them, Otabek and JJ standing on opposite sides with Seung-gil in the back

  
JJ: Ready, Lion man?

  
Leo: I was born ready!

  
Leo falls back, JJ and Otabek taking most of the weight, Seung-gil supporting his head as they push him back up. Up next is JJ who, flashes his ‘JJ’ hand signal as he falls back onto Seung-gil and Leo’s arms, dropping slightly further than the other two as they push him back up.

  
Leo: Ha, thought we were gonna drop you for a second there.

  
JJ: Nah, I TRUST you.

  
He then tackled Leo into another hug, the shorter man laughing.

  
The last was Seung-gil who fell back without a word and without changing expression. He nodded towards the camera when the others pushed him back up.

 

  
3,563 Comments

  
**JJBEKGIRL** :

  
_Is anyone else like super worried about JJ and Otabek not interacting? Like, I’ve never heard JJ call him ‘Otabek’ so many times in my entire life. OMG I hope my babies aren’t fighting!!_

  
**View 45 Replies**

  
**GOLDenboy** :

  
_I loved seeing my cute stoic babies interact!!!!!! BEKS AND SEUNG-GIL ARE SO CUTE._

  
**View 6 Replies**

 

 **Leozmybae** :

  
_Ok, but like, I stan 1 (One) band against toxic masculinity._

  
**View 14 Replies**

  
**View More Comments**  
____________________________________________________________________________  
Otabek sat in one of the plush chairs at the front of the tour bus, he was vaguely watching the terrain fly past as they drove down the highway. He had his mixing headphones on and plugged into his phone, blasting music into his ears. He was cursing himself internally for listening to his playlist titled ‘Yura’, but it was helping him miss home less. He didn’t notice Viktor sit down across from him until he felt a kick to his shin. He slid his headphones down onto his neck, pushing the pause button on his phone.

  
“Hey, we should talk.” Viktor started with in Russian, causing Otabek to raise his eyebrows. Viktor just nodded his head back to where JJ was napping on the couch, his laptop balanced on his chest.

  
“What’s up?” Otabek answered in Russian, settling back into his chair as he turned back towards Viktor.

  
“We might have a slight scheduling problem.” Viktor answered looking down at the laptop he had across his legs. “I had originally scheduled you and JJ to do the ‘Wired’ interview while we were in Nashville, and then I tried to switch it to you and Leo, but, Leo has to be at a signing with Seung-gil across town at the same time. So, what I’m saying is, I think you and JJ are going to have to do the interview together.”

  
Otabek set his head back against the chair, breathing deep and closing his eyes. He supposed it wasn’t the worst thing, JJ had been giving him space over the last two weeks while they were on tour. He only interacted with Otabek when he had to and was keeping himself from shooting Otabek concerned glances. He had to admit that he was probably ready to talk to him, but, he just didn’t know where to start at this point. They had slipped so easily into a routine of avoidance, which hurt Otabek in a different way that he hadn’t really thought through.

  
“Ok. it’s fine.” Otabek responded, looking back into Viktor’s concerned eyes.

  
“If you’re sure? I can try and call to reschedule?” His gaze slipped back down to the laptop, typing away at his spreadsheet. How Viktor kept all their lives together to begin with was surprising to Otabek. Viktor Nikiforov and Organized would not seem like two things that should go together, but they did.

  
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Otabek replied, looking back over his shoulder at where JJ slept. “The fans are already speculating about us fighting anyways, seems like a good way to stop that talk.” After Viktor left him alone he kept glancing back at JJ. Did he think he was ready to talk to his best friend? They could just keep the interview as detached as possible, but it would probably go better if they weren’t still avoiding all the imaginary trip wires that seemed to be between them.

  
Otabek glanced down at his hand, clenching his jaw as he stood up and walked over towards where JJ napped. He reached down and gently shook his shoulder, knowing that JJ could sleep like the dead.

  
“Hey, JJ...JJ” He said calmly but forcefully, feeling a fond burst of happiness burst in his chest as JJ’s eyes slid open, smiling at first before he jumped slightly.

  
“Oh, Otabek...I’m sorry, did I oversleep or something?” He asked, sitting up and gripping his laptop to his chest.

  
“No,” Otabek said, sitting in the space where JJ’s legs vacated. “I..I want to talk..about, what happened.” Otabek looked down at his hands, forcing himself to not wring his fingers before looking up at JJ. He could see the hopeful expression in his best friends eyes.

  
“Yeah, of course...do you have something in particular you want to say or ask? Or should I say something?” This was the JJ that not many people got to see, the one who cared more about how everyone around him was feeling than he let on. The one that Otabek got to see more than anyone else he knew.

  
“Well, there are some things I want to ask you, but, I just want to say first that I forgive you,” Otabek watched as the hope in JJ’s eyes swelled, “I’m not saying I trust you right now, or that I think I can be nearly as close to you right now as we used to be. What you did really hurt me Jean, and not just because of what you did, but because it was you . You’re my best friend. There is no one I used to trust more than you and him, and both of you betrayed my trust, what seemed like, so easily. And, at least with Yuri, he seemed so broken up over breaking my trust, and breaking my heart the way he did. But, with you, you just played it off at first, would you have even told me it happened if Yuri hadn’t?” Otabek felt tears coming to his eyes as he spoke calm and slow, keeping his gaze from straying away from JJ’s.

  
“I would’ve told you. I just...felt that if I acted like it had never happened..then maybe it would all just go away. That I wouldn’t have made one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. I feel absolutely terrible about it, still. I am so unbelievably sorry Beks, I never ever wanted to hurt you like this. It was a mistake, we both knew it as soon as it happened. I left your apartment that day sobbing, all I could do was imagine the betrayed and hurt look in your eyes, so I thought that as long as I pretended like it never happened I would never need to break our friendship like that. I wasn’t sure that you’d be able to ever forgive me for that.” JJ’s eyes were filled with tears, his tone slowly becoming more sniffly as he went on.  
“Then why’d you do it Jean? Why did you sleep with Yuri?” Otabek felt a few tears spilling over his eyelashes, his hand swiping across his cheeks to catch them.

  
“I was just so lonely, and I think he was too. I’m going to tell you something Beks, not to try to give it as an excuse but to just explain what got us into that position.” Otabek nodded slightly for him to continue, “You had been spending the last 3 months using all your free time to work on the album, staying at the studio until past midnight every night, sometimes even sleeping there. Yuri started calling me on nights when you and Leo were doing late night writing sessions, both of us were bored and alone in our apartments. It started out as just me being someone he could bitch to about your obsessive work ethic. And he didn’t want to tell you how alone he was feeling because he was so proud of how hard you were working towards your dream. He told me ‘JJ, it’s like he didn’t even really come home from tour, I see him even less now than I did then.’ And I could tell he was hurting, and needed someone to be there for him. He didn’t want to keep you from working so, we started hanging out. Any night when you and Leo stayed late at the studio I would go over to your place and we would just talk, or play video games, or watch a movie. He always told me ‘I can’t wait until the end of this month, and then the stupid album will be done and I can have my fiancé back.”

Otabek tried to control his breathing as he thought about his Yura feeling so alone, feeling like an absolute idiot for being so obsessive. He pulled himself out of his own thoughts as JJ continued. “And then, he called me one morning as I was leaving to meet you guys at the studio. You had just told him about this tour, and about how you were going to be gone in America for another three weeks. He was sobbing, and could hardly tell me that much, so I rushed over to your place. He was still an absolute mess when he opened the door and I didn’t really know what to do so I just held him. I held him as he sobbed, and gripped my shirt and when he had calmed down enough to look up at me I don’t know what happend. I don’t even remember who leaned towards who but then we were kissing, and then one thing led to another, and then I was laying on the floor of your apartment feeling like absolute shit. We both agreed that we needed time to think about it before we told you, but I guess you know he wasn’t able to do that to you. I went home and I brushed off Leo when he got home telling him I just overslept, assured him that I was sure you guys were fine without me. All the while I felt a huge pit in my stomach about what I had done.” JJ was openly crying now, his hands gripped tight around his laptop, his fingers white. He lifted his eyes to Otabek’s and Otabek was surprised to find himself with just as many tears sliding down his cheeks.

  
“I didn’t know he felt like that, he never told me anything.” He ran a hand over his hair, feeling a few sections fall back onto his forehead. “Маған секс...how could I have been so stupid?”

“No, don’t do that. Yes, you were being a bit of an idiot for burning the candle at both ends, but Yuri should’ve talked to you about it. I should’ve talked to you about it. We both realized it wasn’t healthy behavior and we didn’t do anything to try to stop you.” JJ leaned forward a bit in his seat, prying Otabek’s hand away from his hair.

  
“Still, I should’ve realized how lonely he felt. I just figured he was so focused on his big show happening next month that both of us needed the time to work. I’m an idiot.” Otabek shook his head, “Promise me if you see me going down that path again, you will talk to me? Please.”

“I promise.” JJ said crossing his heart with his finger like they had since they were kids. “But, only if you promise me that we can try to get back to being best friends, because I’ve missed you so much brother.”

“Deal.” Otabek said as he felt JJ’s arms tentatively wrap around his shoulders, pulling Otabek’s body close to his own. Otabek returned the hug but pulled back after a few seconds, patting JJ and the shoulder as he got up. “I’m gonna go to bed, but, I’ll see you in the morning for our interview ok?”

“Yeah, see you then Beks.” JJ said with a small smile, opening his laptop again and lounging back against the couch.

Otabek walked back to where their bunks were, noticing Seung-gil fast asleep in the lower bunk opposite his own. He could see a light on in Leo’s bunk above his but couldn’t actually see the man himself. He settled himself into his bunk, pressing his hand lightly to the photo of his family that he had pinned over his head before Leo’s head dropped down from his bunk.

  
“So, did you two kiss and make up?” Leo said with a smile.

  
“Yes, sort of? I don’t know, we’re speaking now.” Otabek responded with rolling his eyes.

  
“Good, I haven’t enjoyed being the messenger between the two of you for the past two weeks, you can both be whiny as fuck.” Leo whined, his head swinging back and forth a little bit. “Are you going to talk to Yuri?”

  
“At some point, yes.” Otabek said his hand running over his face, “I don’t really think that is a conversation to have over the phone though.”  
“Probably not...you could always invite him to fly out for our last show? Isn’t that what you two had originally planned?” Leo asked, the blood was rushing to his face and making his tanned skin look pinker.

  
“Uh Huh, I don’t really want to talk about it right now, ok?” Otabek said closing his eyes. He reached over and plugged in his phone as he adjusted his pillow. “I’m going to bed now, so, stop being a creepy monkey and return to your own bunk please.”

  
Leo just laughed as his head disappeared from view, hearing his light click off, leaving the bunk area in significantly more darkness. Otabek still reached and pulled the curtain over his own bunk, laying his head back on his pillow and closing his eyes.  
____________________________________________________________________________  
**Otabek Altin and Jean-Jacques Leroy Answer the Web’s Most Searched Questions|Wired**

  
Transcript:

  
“Hi I’m Otabek Altin.” Otabek said smiling

“And I’m Jean-Jacques Leroy” JJ said after, looking over at Otabek.

“And this is the Wired Autocomplete Interview.” They both said in unison, laughing as they got it perfect on the first try.

JJ held the first card in his hand  
“Alright ‘is Otabek Altin..’ Pull one off bro.” He said holding it out to Otabek.

“Ok..’Who is Otabek Altin?’,” Otabek laughed as he looked over at the camera, “Who indeed. No, I’m the keyboard and synth player for the Alt-rock band GOLD.”

“What?” JJ replied in mock shock. “I would’ve never guessed!”

“Oh shut it you.”

“Ok, ‘Where is Otabek Altin from?’ Well, I was born in Almaty, Kazakhstan. But, I moved to London when I was 10.” He quickly moved to the next one. “ ‘How Tall is Otabek Altin?’ I am 168 centimeters or about 5’6””.” He threw the wadded up paper at JJ when he responded with “HE’S SHORT!”

“Moving on, ‘Who is Otabek Altin Fiancé?’ His name is Yuri Plisetsky, he’s a ballerina with the Royal Ballet.” Otabek gave a shy smile as JJ nodded for him to do the next one.

“‘ Is Otabek Altin Kazakh?’ Yes.” He nodded as JJ tossed the card like a frisbee off of camera. He grabbed the next one they handed them.

“Ok, your turn Jean.”

“Right, ‘What Jean-Jacques Leroy’,” JJ reached and pulled away the first one “ ‘What does Jean-Jacques Leroy do?’ I ask myself that question everyday.” Otabek laughed, punching JJ lightly in the shoulder. “I’m a guitar player, I play guitar, mostly for the alt-rock band GOLD.”

“I mean that’s your career but that’s definitely not what you do most days.” Otabek said in jest, laughing as JJ pouted at him.

“Jerk. Alright, ‘What is Jean-Jacques Leroy’s Instagram?’ It’s Jjleroy!15.” JJ smiles, flashing his JJ hand signal as Otabek rolls his eyes.

“‘What does Jean-Jacques Leroy eat?’ Everything.” He quickly pulls off the next thing. “ ‘What Jean-Jacques Leroy Hometown?’ Now that’s just bad grammar. I was born in Toronto, but, like Beks, moved to London when I was about 9 or 10. Ok, Moving on.” He flings the current card before grabbing another and holding it out to Otabek.

“Ok, ‘What Otabek Altin..’” He quickly removes the first one, “ ‘What is Otabek Altin’s Birthday?’ October 31st.”

“Halloween Baby.” JJ mouths to the camera, laughing as Otabek rolls his eyes.

“‘What Otabek Altin star sign?’ I don’t actually know...JJ what’s my star sign?” He asks looking over.

“Scorpio.”

“There you go. ‘What languages does Otabek Altin speak?’ I’m fluent in Kazakh, Russian, and English, and I know a little bit of French and Spanish, and a few words in Japanese.”

“Show off.” JJ stage whispers.

“Says the man who also speaks three languages fluently.” He rolls his eyes going back to the board. “Ok, last one, ‘What Instruments does Otabek Altin Play?’ I play Piano, violin, a little bit of guitar, and I guess Ableton Push? Does that count as an instrument?”

“I’d say so.”

“Ok.” He gently tosses the board away after grabbing it from JJ’s hands, catching the new one and holding it up to JJ. “‘Does Jean-Jacques Leroy..’”

“‘Does Jean-Jacques Leroy have any siblings?’ Yes, I have a younger brother and a younger sister.” He nods to the camera before turning back to the board. “‘Does Jean-Jacques Leroy speak French?’ Oui. ‘Does Jean-Jacques Leroy girlfriend?’ I don’t know, how does one ‘girlfriend?’” He asks teasingly, looking over at Otabek.

“I don’t know why you think I would have an answer to that.”

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend. ‘Does Jean-Jacques Leroy play in the band GOLD?’ Yes, already told you that.” He tosses the card as Otabek is handed the last one.

“Alright last one, care to do the honors JJ? ‘..the band GOLD..’” He holds up the card to JJ

“‘Who are the members of the band GOLD?’ Otabek Altin, Leo de la Iglesia, Seung-gil Lee, and myself.” JJ says smiling, he takes the board and holds it up for Otabek.

“Ok, ‘Where is the band GOLD from?’ We’re based in London, but each of us was originally born somewhere else.” Otabek pulled off another after a prompting from JJ, “‘How did the band GOLD form?’ JJ and I went to school together, we met Leo a few years after we started playing gigs, and then we met Seung-gil through a friend and added him as our drummer.”

“‘Viktor Nikiforov the band Gold?’ I don’t really know what this is asking? But, yes? Our manager is Viktor Nikiforov. Not sure what exactly that means.”

“Heck if I know brother.” JJ responds with smiling to Otabek as he flings the card away. “Well, this has been the Wired Autocomplete interview.”

“Hope everyone learned some new things.”

 

2,768 Comments

  
**JJBEKluver:**

  
_YESS OMG THEIR BACK TOGETHER MY LIFE IS COMPLETE_

  
**View 17 Replies**

  
**GOLDislife:**

  
_Why is it that JJ was getting lots of weird questions while most of Otabek’s made sense…_

  
**View 23 Replies**

  
**Otababe97:**

  
_Ok, but why is Otabek so cute?_

  
**View 7 replies**

  
**GOLDengirls:**

  
_BUT WHERE ARE LEO AND SEUNG? lets just all admit that it would’ve been super funny with seung-gil… >.<_

  
**View 13 Replies**

 **View More Comments**  
____________________________________________________________________________  
Otabek was messing with his Ableton tracks as the bus slowly made its way into Chicago. They would be here for four days, two shows and then they would be going home. Otabek wasn’t sure if he was excited or terrified for that. He hadn’t texted, called, or even emailed Yuri since they had left on tour almost 3 weeks ago and it felt a little like he was missing a limb. He was so accustomed to the ‘Good Morning zolotse <3’ text that Yuri would usually send that it felt weird to wake up to no messages on his phone. He missed him so much. Not even for all the romantic stuff, but just being around him. Holding his hand as they walked through the market, laying on the couch and watching stupid american horror movies, rubbing his feet after a long day of training. He missed just being with him everyday, missed how they fit together like puzzle pieces.

The conversation with JJ had been eye opening as far as looking over the past few months. Otabek couldn’t remember the last time he and Yuri had had a date, was it when he’d last gotten back from tour? Was it even before the last tour? The fact that he couldn’t remember was enough evidence that it was too long ago. He wanted so badly to talk to Yuri, there were so many things that they both needed to apologize for, so many things that they needed to talk about. But, he knew that was a conversation he had to save for when they next saw each other in person. Otabek honestly just wanted his fiancé back in his arms.

Otabek was pulled from his thoughts as Viktor slid into the seat next to him at the table, setting his closed laptop on the table next to Otabek’s.

“Hey Otabek.”

“Viktor.” He nodded his head in greeting, closing his laptop and turning to look at the older man.

“So, I watched the Wired interview...”

“And?” He prompted, looking at Viktor so he would continue, unsure which point of the interview he would be caught on.

“I’m glad to hear that you’re still planning on marrying my cousin.” Viktor said, a small hopeful smile on his face.

“I never wasn’t going to, I just needed some space.” Otabek said in a tired voice, he didn’t really feel like talking to Viktor about this right now, not when the only Russian he really wanted to talk to was Blond and about 4,000 miles away.

“Yuri wasn’t so sure.” Viktor said in a comforting tone. “He was so sure you were going to come back and break up with him.”

“I told him we would talk when I got back.”

“Otabek...you know Yuri, better than I do even. Would he ever take that as a ‘Yes Yuri, I’m still planning on marrying you and I still love you’?” Viktor asked softly.

“No, he wouldn’t” Otabek said groaning slightly. “But, Viktor I really didn’t feel like I could tell him that when I left, I trusted that I would be able to get through three weeks, and then have the conversation we needed to have to get past this, so that we can move forward together. I guess I should’ve remembered that my Yura always assumes the worst scenario.”

“Exactly, I apologize, I think I encouraged his dramatic side a bit much when he came to life with me when he was 7.” Viktor said in jest, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “Have you thought about what you want to say to him yet?”

“Fragments of it. I mostly just want to see him, hold him, tell him I love him, that I forgive him, that I’m sorry for being such a shit fiancé who spends all of his time away from home.” Otabek said running his thumb over his palm, focusing his eyes on the movement. “But, there’s stuff he needs to apologize for too, things he needs to tell me that he’s been holding back. We both need to make some new promises to each other, or I’m not sure us loving each other will be enough to keep us from drowning.”

“I know you’ll work it out,” Viktor says smiling “I’ve never seen Yuri act the way he does with you around anyone else. You ground him, help him see the world around him instead of just the world on a stage, you brought light back to his life that I had thought was snuffed out. I’ve thought that since the first time you guys met.” Viktor looked up at Otabek as he continued “I remember Yuuri and I were sitting at home waiting for him to get back for dinner and he came running through the door with what was probably the first smile I’d seen on his face in months. Of course it slipped away as soon as we asked about it, but, it was good to see. He didn’t want to tell us about you for awhile, I think he liked having you as his little secret. But, we’d hear him on FaceTime until well past midnight, notice him checking his phone more often. That boy had a crush on you for years before the two of you finally figured it out.”

“Yeah, we did have a few years of dancing around each other.” Otabek responded with, a small smile on his face as he thought back to him and Yuri as teenagers. Yuri supporting him and JJ at their first gigs, writing love song after love song and only realizing later that they were all about Yuri. “I thought we messed it all up when we kissed for the first time too, I thought he was going to hate me for ruining our friendship.” He chuckled as he remembered Yuri at 16, two inches shorter than Otabek, a tiny ball of fury, aggression, and grace. It was a big change from the tall, 24 year-old man he now loved more than anything in the world.

“He thought the same, not that he ever talked to me about it.” Viktor said rolling his eyes, “That boy could pretend to hate my husband as much as he wanted but he sure went to him for advice pretty frequently.”

“Yuri loves Yuuri, he loves you too even though he can be terrible about showing it sometimes. He always told me how grateful he was for everything the two of you did for him while he was growing up. I’m quite grateful for what you guys have done too, you helped turn him into the man he is today, and I love him very much.” Otabek didn’t know why he was being so sentimental, but he decided to blame it on the longing he was feeling to be near his fiancé. It helped fill the hole in his chest if he talked about him.

“He loves you too Otabek, don’t forget that.” Viktor said standing up, “I better get everything ready, we’re almost there.”

Otabek just nodded, looking out the window as the bus pulled off the highway onto an exit. He could see the city off in the distance, the tall buildings breaking up the blue sky. He was glad they only had a few days left. He was ready to go home, ready to talk to Yuri, ready to fix their relationship. Mostly, he was ready to spend the rest of his life with him, if Yuri would still have him.  
_________________________________________________________________________

Otabek lounged in the bed in his and JJ’s hotel room. He had let Leo encourage them to stay together after they had reconciled in Nashville, and it was helping them to return to something resembling the friendship they had had for 15 years. Their first show in Chicago had gone well, and they had two free days before their last show. They had spent their free night last night rewatching episodes of ‘The I.T. Crowd’ on Netflix and eating junk food, feeling like they were 19 all over again.

A few of JJ’s extended family had come in from Toronto for the show so he was out doing tourist stuff in the city with them. He had invited Otabek, but Otabek honestly just wanted to stay in today, make sure all his mixes were in order for tonight, and maybe put some more thought into what he was going to say to Yuri when he got home in 2 days.

He was just getting ready to jump into the shower when he heard a knock on his door, probably Leo or Seung-gil. He didn’t bother putting on a shirt as he walked out of the bathroom and opened the door.

  
“Hey, what do you ne-” He stopped short when he realized who was standing in front of his door. Otabek tracked his eyes from the studded Dr. Martens on his feet, up his legs covered in tight black jeans, over his torso where he could see a sliver of a tiger’s head, covered mostly by a leather jacket that was too loose in his shoulders, Otabek’s eyes followed the long strands of blonde hair up until he was looking at his face. He was more beautiful than Otabek remembered. “Yura…”

  
“Hi Beka.” Yuri said shyly, looking up with a guarded expression.

  
“What are you doing here?” He asked, still stunned.

  
“JJ and Leo organized it, they...they told me I should come. They told me that I wouldn’t want to miss seeing you on this tour. And that you’d probably really like to see me right now...were they wrong?” Otabek could hear the worry in his voice as he looked down at his feet. Otabek let his instincts go this time as he reached out to tip Yuri’s chin up.

  
“They, as usual, were right.” He let his hand slide around until he was cupping Yuri’s jaw, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into his cheek. “We...we should talk...do you want to come in?” He asked stepping aside and letting Yuri walk into the hotel room, the door clicking closed loudly.

“I’m just gonna go shut the shower off, and put on my shirt.” He said looking down at his naked torso.

“I mean...you don’t have to.” Yuri said smirking as he sat on the end of Otabek’s bed, the one closest to the window.

“Yes, I do.” Otabek said shaking his head. Once the shower was off, and he had a shirt on again he moved back out into the room. He took slow steps as Yuri watched him, He sat down beside Yuri on the bed, leaving a good foot of space between them, knowing they needed to talk before they could be as touchy as they normally were. “Ok, I was planning this whole speech in my head for when I got back home, but I hadn’t really thought the whole thing through yet, so you’re going to have to be patient with me as I struggle through this.”

“How about I start then? I had an 8 hour flight to think mine through.” Yuri said, smiling as he pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. Otabek nodded as Yuri continued. “Ok, Otabek I’m sorry. I’m so unfathomably sorry for what I did to you, cheating is something that is completely unacceptable in my book, something that I swore I would never do to someone that I love and it tears me up inside that I didn’t just do it to someone that I love, I did it to you. My sweet Beka, who loves me more than I deserve and treats me like a goddamn princess, and would never ever even think about cheating on me. I’m a fucking idiot for ever putting you through that baby and I’m so sorry. I’ll probably never stop apologizing for it, but, I need to tell you why it happened.” Yuri took a deep breath, Otabek could see tears forming in the corners of his green eyes, but Otabek kept himself from reaching out and swiping them away.

“JJ told me that you two talked about things from his perspective. And he wasn’t really that far off base when he said that I was lonely. Beka, it felt like I was engaged to a ghost. Or maybe a vampire, I don’t know. But, you’d only be in our apartment from about 1:00 am to 9:00 am, every other hour of the day you were at the studio, with Leo, writing. And I didn’t want to come between you and your music, so I didn’t say anything. Even though it broke my heart every single night when I would go to sleep with your side of the bed cold, when I would eat dinner by myself staring at your chair, sit on the couch by myself expecting you to sit down next to me and take off my shoes and rub my feet until I was a puddle of mush in your lap. Even though you were home it didn’t really feel like you were. Sure, I’d wake up in the middle of the night as you slid in next to me, wrapping me in your arms. But, I don’t remember the last time we had sex Beka. Not, like, a quickie in the shower, or a blowjob to wake up, but honest to god sex. The kind where you spend hours working me up before you take me apart and put me back together piece by piece." Otabek had thought about that too, and he couldn't honestly remember either. 

"And I missed you so much my heart was aching. I didn’t know who to talk about it with, your mom would take any excuse to see us having problems, I didn’t want to involve your sister in our drama, Viktor is your manager and I didn’t want to cause problems with your album so I knew I couldn’t talk to him or Yuuri. Mila had just gotten dumped by Anton so I didn’t want to tell her about it, so I turned to the only person who knows you as well as I do. JJ immediately knew what I was talking about because he could also see how much you were overworking yourself. And it started as just a way to bitch about it, to get some of the nasty feelings off my chest without letting it affect us. But, then I started to realize what you had been telling me since we started dating. JJ and I aren’t that different from one another. Sure, we have different tactics, but we both are great at pushing away those we love most, and we both are secret softies once you get past our hard exteriors. It started as just someone to make me feel less lonely, and I think to help him feel less lonely too. I never had any sort of romantic feelings towards him, I promise. But, when you told me that you were leaving to go on tour again, it was just the last straw. I couldn’t handle it anymore, my heart couldn’t handle it anymore. So, I broke down, and JJ was there to try and fit some of the pieces back together. I think in my heartbroken state all I wanted was to feel something, anything, with someone else. And before I could really think about it I had made the biggest mistake of my life.” Yuri took a deep breath as he looked over at Otabek, his eyes glassy with the tears streaming down his face.

“I can’t even fathom now what came over me, but it happened. We had sex, I cheated on you, and I broke my own heart even more than it had been broken before then. JJ had wanted to wait to tell you together, he told me it would be better, but I couldn’t even look at you when I thought about what I had done. And you got home and your were as loving and amazing as you normally are, and I just felt like such a fraud. You love me so much and what did I do to repay that love? I cheated on you with your best friend. What kind of a person does that Beka?” Otabek couldn’t take it anymore as Yuri’s shoulders shook from his tears. He scooted closer and pulled Yuri into his arms, pressing a kiss into his hair.

“How can you hold me when I did that to you?” Yuri’s voice, broken and cracking said from where his head rested against Otabek’s chest.

“I can hold you because I forgive you Yura.” Otabek pulled Yuri back enough to pull his chin up to look into his eyes. “I forgive you. It still hurts so much that you slept with JJ, it’s probably going to hurt for awhile, but, I forgive you. I can’t keep pushing you away because I miss you too god damn much махаббатым. We’ll work through this, together. I know it will work out because we’re going to be much more honest with each other, we’re going to put more effort into being a couple, and because I love you so so much. There is no other option for me than for us to work this out.”

He let Yuri fall back against his chest, letting out a sigh as Otabek leaned down to press his nose into Yuri’s hair, smelling his green apple shampoo. The comforting scent filling him with ease. “Baby, I need to apologize to you too. I should’ve realized how lonely you were, how obsessive I was being. I should’ve realized how terrible I was being to you. I figured we were both working so hard that when all of this was done we would have time together, but that isn’t an excuse. Our lives aren’t going to stop being busy anytime soon. I need to plan more time for us to just be us. More time to sit on the couch and rub your feet, more time to cuddle, more time to take you to dinner and the zoo, and definitely more time to show you exactly how much I love you. I was neglecting you, and I’m so sorry it took you cheating on me for me to realize that. I wish it hadn’t taken that. But, Zhanym, you need to promise me something.” He pulled Yuri back to look into his eyes again. “If I start doing that again, you need to tell me. I sometimes get sidetracked and hyper focused on something, you need to help me remember what’s really important ok?”

“I promise. And I forgive you, how could I not when you’d forgive me for what I’ve done to you.” The amount of love flowing out of Yuri’s eyes made Otabek’s heart constrict in his chest as he leaned forward pressing their noses together, just looking into each other’s eyes. Otabek doesn’t even know who turned their head to change the angle before Yuri’s lips are on his.

The kiss starts slow, just a few gentle presses of their lips against each other, almost chaste. Otabek brings his hand up to tangle in Yuri’s hair and feels as his lips part, letting Otabek trail his tongue over Yuri’s bottom lip, tasting Yuri’s mint lip balm and the saltiness of his tears. Yuri’s arms wrap around Otabek’s neck and he feels a tingle of pleasure shoot down his spine as Yuri’s fingers run over the short hairs at his nape. He leans over Yuri, gently laying him back on the mattress as Otabek trails one hand over Yuri’s torso, letting his arm wrap around Yuri’s waist. He pulls back when Yuri gently pushes on his chest with one hand, propping himself over Yuri with his free arm.

“What is it baby?” He asks, his fingers twining themselves into Yuri’s golden hair, fanned out on the bed beneath him.

“There’s one of your new songs...it...it talks about getting over someone by sleeping with someone else...I’m not saying I’m mad if you did, because I would be a total hypocrite, but, just tell me, did you sleep with someone else?” Yuri bites his lip, his gaze avoiding Otabek’s

“I didn’t, I couldn’t do that to you.” Otabek whispers back, bringing his hand up form Yuri’s waist to run his thumb over Yuri’s cheekbone. “I thought about it, which was the inspiration for that song, but, I couldn’t even think about it without realizing how wrong it felt.”

“Ok,” Yuri smiles, bringing his eyes back up to Otabek’s, “Is it terrible if I say that makes me feel better? That I can somehow get comfort from the fact that you couldn’t cheat on me when I did cheat on you?”

“No, it just makes you human котенок.” Otabek leans down and captures Yuri’s lips again, letting their tongues twine together in their mouths.

Otabek kisses his way down Yuri’s jaw, his neck, working around to the spot behind Yuri’s ear that make him squirm. He sucks at that spot, loving the desperate gasp that comes out of Yuri’s mouth before he continues his path lower, sucking little marks into the skin from Yuri’s ear to his collarbone. He feels Yuri’s hands travelling down his back, getting under his t-shirt and sliding it over his back. They pull back momentarily and Otabek flings his shirt across the room towards his bag, he helps Yuri to push off his leather jacket, before Otabek stops with his hands on Yuri’s hips. His thumbs are resting under the hem of Yuri’s shirt, touching the soft pale skin of his stomach. Otabek looks up to Yuri for permission before he pushes the shirt up Yuri’s body, pushing him back onto the bed when it’s off.

“Beka, I missed you.” He hears as he moves back up Yuri’s body, one palm pressed across Yuri’s defined stomach.

“I missed you too, Zhanym.” Otabek whispers as he captures Yuri’s lips again. There is a new fervor to their kisses as he feels Yuri’s legs part to accommodate Otabek’s, letting their bodies press together firmly. Yuri’s nails drag a gentle path down Otabek’s shoulder as their hips collide, letting their half-hard erections rub through Yuri’s jeans and Otabek’s sweats. Their mouths swallowing their moans as Otabek trails a hand between them, pulling his face back to look at Yuri as he cups him in his jeans. “So eager for me, котенок.” He loves seeing the way Yuri bites at his lip, barely concealing his little breathy moans.

“Yes, Beka, for you. Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Yuri asks, letting his hand come up to run his thumb over Otabek’s face, his smile getting brighter as Otabek nods. “Then get ready baby, because right now it’s all about you.” Is all the warning Otabek gets before he is being shoved down onto the bed, Yuri’s mouth licking and sucking down his neck.

His tongue slides into the grooves of his collarbones, biting gently. Otabek tips his chin down as Yuri trails his kisses lower. His bright green eyes looking up at Otabek when he sucks at each of Otabek’s abs, lowering when he gets to the line of dark hair that trails into Otabek’s sweats. Otabek lifts his hips when Yuri pulls on his sweatpants, letting out a slight gasp as the cool air of the room hits his cock.

Any feeling of coldness is quickly replaced as Yuri’s mouth covers the head, his hand pulling at the base as he looks up at Otabek. He struggles to keep his eyes open to watch as Yuri slowly bobs his head sucking and licking at Otabek’s cock, making sharp zings of pleasure shoot through Otabek’s body. “Fuck, Yura, your mouth.” He groans, his eyes closing in pleasure as Yuri hums around his length. Otabek lays his head back onto the mattress, reveling in the the feel of Yuri’s wet mouth around him. One of his hands reaches down to tangle in Yuri’s long blond hair, pulling gently, just enough to get Yuri to moan around him again. He just enjoys the feeling of Yuri sucking up and down his length before he feels heat pooling in his abdomen, “Yuri, babe, I’m too close,” He moans, pulling a little harder on Yuri’s hair, letting out a sigh when his mouth pops off with a wet noise. His cock, still hard and aching, rests against his stomach, leaving a trail of saliva and precome. Yuri crawls back up to him, pressing their lips back together. His legs still covered in his jeans feels rough against Otabek’s naked skin. Though, Otabek does notice that Yuri’s jeans have been unzipped enough to pull out his cock. Otabek immediately deepens the kiss tasting himself on Yuri’s tongue, winding his fingers into Yuri’s hair again to pull his head into him at the best angle.

“Lube, babe?” He hears Yuri ask between kisses, his hand teasingly running over Otabek’s chest and arms.

“Uh...I think there’s some in the outside pocket of my bag.” Otabek responds with after a few kisses, really needing to think about it. “Wasn’t exactly thinking this was going to happen, but it should be in there from last tour.”

Otabek mourns the loss of Yuri above him as he gets up. He watches as the Blond pauses enough to get his jeans the rest of the way off, giving him a good view of his ass. Otabek bites his lip as Yuri finished the distance to his suitcase, reaching down to stroke his own cock lightly. What? It’s a very nice view. Yuri lets out a loud little affirmation as he holds the half empty bottle of lube aloft towards Otabek.

“Thank past you for being terrible about unpacking I guess.” Yuri says teasingly as he saunters back over to Otabek, “sit against the headboard.” He says in a lightly commanding tone, stepping up and straddling Otabek again when he obliges. There was a time when sitting in this position would make their faces just the right height. Would make up the few inches Otabek had on Yuri so that their faces were aligned. Now, Yuri looked down on Otabek, his face a few inches above him. His lithe frame still made him feel small in Otabek’s arms, no matter how much taller Yuri was than him (It’s like 3 inches, maybe 4, he doesn’t want to talk about it ok?). “Do you want to prep me or should I just let you enjoy the show?” Yuri says teasingly, grinding their cocks together lightly, letting out a breathy moan as he does so.

“What do you want Zhanym?” Otabek asks, his had coming to push the blond hair out of Yuri’s eyes. He lets his fingers run down until he reaches Yuri’s nipples, letting his fingers rub at them teasingly, enjoying watching the pleasure on Yuri’s face as his mouth falls open, moaning in choked off Russian curses.

“Touch me, zolotse, please.” Yuri moans, his free hand resting across Otabek’s shoulders as he hands him the lube.

“I’m going to make you feel good, okay babe?” Otabek tells Yuri as he squeezes the lube over his fingers, reaching around Yuri’s small frame, between his cheeks. He teases the tip of his finger at Yuri’s entrance, feeling Yuri’s moan from where his head rests against Yuri’s chest. Yuri’s fingers grip at Otabek’s shoulders, not yet letting his fingernails drag against the skin. Otabek leans down and captures one of Yuri’s nipples into his mouth as he presses against his entrance, letting his finger slide into his tight heat. The wrecked sound of Yuri’s moans and the feeling of his fingernails into Otabek’s back have him teasing his finger against his rim, opening him up quickly but efficiently. He adds a second finger and moans against Yuri as he takes it in so easily. Otabek gently scissors his fingers, reaching them up and angling them until he feels Yuri squirming in his arms. “That’s it kitten, I’ve got you.” He lets a third slip in next to the others, feeling how tight Yuri is, knowing that it’s been awhile since he had taken Otabek’s cock. Which, as Yuri liked to joke, Otabek was ‘hung like a horse.’ So, he made sure that he was being very thorough with his prep work, he didn’t want to hurt the beautiful man above him.

“I’m ready, I promise.” He hears Yuri whisper out between moans and he pulls back, leaving his fingers thrusting in and out of Yuri as he pulls back to look up at him.

“You sure? It’s been awhile…” Neither of them wants to mention why it had been awhile as Yuri just nods his head.

“I want to feel you Beka.” He replies, cradling Otabek’s face with his hands, his green eyes gazing openly into Otabek’s.

Otabek pulls his fingers out in response, grabbing the lube again and adding a bit more as he slicks up his cock, looking up into Yuri’s eyes as he slowly sinks himself down onto Otabek. His lips are open with a rough little moan, but his eyes never leave Otabek’s, not even as he begins slowly lifting and dropping his hips, fucking himself on Otabek’s cock. Otabek lightly grips his hips, helping him move, but letting him set the pace. It feels more intimate than anything they had done in a long time as they openly gaze into each other’s eyes, both letting out rough moans with each slow and steady thrust. While they had always had a very active sex life, Otabek can’t remember the last time they did this, made love. He moves one hand from Yuri’s hip to stroke his cheekbone instead, feeling all the emotions passing between them as they slowly work themselves up.

“Touch me, please.” Yuri gasped out, “I’m so close.”

Otabek just nodded as he took his hand away from Yuri’s face, reaching down to pull on Yuri’s cock in time with Yuri sinking onto his own, over and over. He isn’t sure who comes first, but feels Yuri squeeze around him just as he comes deep inside his fiancé. Their breathing slows, Yuri leaning forward to rest his forehead against Otabek’s. Otabek lets them just sit, breathing in each other’s space, gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, before he leans up and pulls Yuri into a light kiss. He feels Yuri’s come cooling on his stomach and he gently places Yuri on the bed, wincing slightly when his cock slides out of Yuri. He gets up and pads to the bathroom, coming back with a warm cloth, wiping the come off both of their bodies, taking extra care when cleaning between Yuri’s legs.

“Mmm come cuddle me.” Yuri says pouting slightly, his hair a mess on the pillow under him. Otabek smiles as lets Yuri pull him into bed, pulling the covers up over them as Yuri snuggles his head against Otabek’s chest.

“You’re being uncharacteristically sappy,” Otabek notes as he presses a gentle kiss into Yuri’s hair. He runs his hand up and down Yuri’s back in soothing motions, just letting himself enjoy the feel of Yuri pressed against him.

“Shut up, I missed you.” Yuri says burying his face into Otabek’s chest.

“I missed you too.” Otabek whispers into Yuri’s head, letting his hand come up to run through Yuri’s hair, gently pulling out a few tangles. They just stay like for a few minutes, getting lost in the feeling of being close to one another again, the warmth of having their bodies pressed close together. Otabek doesn’t realize his eyes had slipped closed until he feels Yuri shift against him, propping his head up on his arms against Otabek’s chest.

“Beka?”

“Yes, Yuri?”

“I love you.” His expression is filled with love but Otabek can see the hesitancy that guards his eyes, worried of rejection even after the events of today.

“I love you too, Yura, so much.” He leans up until they can press their lips together in a gentle kiss.

“You...you still want to marry me right?” Yuri asks, focusing on the ring Otabek had given him almost a year ago. The light glints off the emerald the same shade of green as Yuri’s eyes.

“Of course I do,” Otabek responds softly bringing Yuri’s hand up to press a kiss to where the ring rests on his hand, “I was never more sure of anything than I was when I asked you to marry me.”

“But, I haven’t been the best fiancé.” Yuri is clearly trying to avoid talking plainly about the past when they are laid in bed naked together.

“Neither have I, kitten.” Otabek, pushes a lock of hair behind Yuri’s ear, still holding his right hand. “We’ll work through it. And when we feel like we’re ready, we can plan the most kick ass wedding we’ve ever seen.”

“That anyone has ever seen.” Yuri says smiling up at him deviously. “Has to be better than the old man and Kastudon’s.”

“...and there he is. Thought I lost you for a moment there.” He laughs when Yuri flips him off, leaning up to pull Otabek into a kiss.

“Can we nap for a little bit? I’m pretty tired from flying.” Yuri says, settling back onto Otabek’s chest, his hand running over the smooth skin.

“Of course, сүйіктім.”

“Sap. love you.”

“Love you too.” Otabek says smiling letting his eyes close. He knows he won’t be able to sleep much, he’d already slept in too much, but, it would be nice to just lay with Yuri for a few hours. Feeling like his protector as he slept against Otabek’s chest.  
___________________________________________________________________________

Otabek must’ve drifted off as he wakes up when he hears the sound of the door opening and closing. He quickly makes sure all of their bodies are still covered with the blankets as JJ walks into their room, clearly trying to be quiet as he notices that Otabek is awake. He holds up a thumbs up as he grabs his laptop and a few things from his bag, mouthing something to Otabek.

“ _I’m gonna stay with Leo and Seung-gil tonight_ ”

“ _Thank you._ ”

“ _Anytime, brother_ ”

With that he slowly slips out of the room, leaving just as quietly as he came. Otabek grabs his phone from the bedside table and checks the time: 7:13 P.M., groaning internally. They slept for longer than they should have. He feels Yuri stirring on top of him, letting out a sleepy huff.

“Ugh, what time is it?” Yuri asks, keeping his head firmly pressed to Otabek’s chest.

“Quarter past 7.” Otabek answers, fondly pulling his fingers through Yuri’s hair.

“Ughh, no wonder I’m so tired it’s like 1 am back home.” Yuri, turns over, laying back against the pillows, turning his head to look at Otabek, his hand sliding down Otabek’s arm to twine their fingers together. “I think I might’ve killed your plant.”

Otabek just rolls his eyes, turning on his side, his nose brushing Yuri’s slightly as they look at each other. “Of course you did, I think this is why ана and you don’t get along. You don’t have a green bone in your body, let alone a thumb.” He smirks, as Yuri squeezes his hand laughing lightly.

“Yeah, that’s it. It’s definitely not that I kept her precious baby from moving back to Kazakhstan with his parents, or that I’m the one who helped him with his career instead of letting his parents help him every step of the way. Your mom is a control freak Beka.”  
“You say this as if I haven’t had her as my mother for my entire life.” Otabek says laughing, pressing his nose against Yuri’s leaning in to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“You...you haven’t told her about...about all of this right?” Yuri asks, his eyes not meeting Otabek’s.

“No, I didn’t. I wasn’t even really sure where we were going to end up exactly, and she already seems to have a problem with you. I didn’t want to give her another excuse to complain about it. Not that I don’t think she hasn’t picked up that something happened between us. She’s always been good at reading me, but, she hasn’t asked, and I haven’t told her anything.”

“Alright.” Yuri says shuffling closer again to rest his head in the crook of Otabek’s neck. “I’m hungry.” Otabek laughs, shaking his head slightly as Yuri presses a kiss to his throat.

“Ok, how about we get dressed and go grab some dinner, I honestly can’t remember the last time I took you on a date, and I should rectify that situation.” He presses a kiss to Yuri’s hair as he runs his hand up and down Yuri’s back.

“Mmmm, will you take me to get pizza?” Yuri sat back enough in the curve of Otabek’s arm to look at him with pleading eyes, his lip jut out in a slight pout.

“You have a show starting in like two weeks, are you just saying ‘screw it’ to the diet Lilia has you on?” Otabek says laughing, deftly grabbing Yuri’s wrist before he can smack Otabek’s shoulder.

“We’re in Chicago, I want deep dish pizza.” Yuri responds, still pouting. “I don’t care how much Lilia yells at me about it. Please, Beka?”

Otabek shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “Only cause I love you so much.” Yuri let out a quiet celebratory “yes!’ as Otabek watches him get up from the bed, leaning his head on his elbow as he pointedly looks at Yuri’s ass. He doesn’t notice Yuri asking him a question until he gets his sweats thrown at his face.

“Yeah, stop staring at my ass and help me find my underwear or we are never leaving this hotel room.” Yuri said, his hand on his hip as he leveled a playful glare at Otabek. Otabek groaned as he got out of bed, walking over to his suitcase and grabbing an extra pair of his own underwear which he tossed to Yuri.

“Here. Where’s your stuff anyways?” Otabek asked as he slid on his own underwear and a pair of black jeans.

“Viktor’s room.” Yuri said, stepping next to Otabek to grab a hoodie from Otabek’s suitcase, slipping it on over his shirt. His hair was a mess and the sweatshirt hung loose over his slimmer shoulders and torso. He leveled a glance at Otabek when he noticed him watching. “What? I’m cold.”

“Mhmm, of course, love.” Otabek said laughing slightly as he pulled on a shirt, reaching to grab a hairbrush and a hair tie from inside his toiletry bag. (another side effect of never unpacking all the way and frequently travelling with Yuri.) “Ok, let’s fix your hair.”

He ignored Yuri’s groan as he pushed him to sit on the corner of the bed, tilting Yuri’s head back as he gently took all the tangles out of his long golden hair. He made sure each section was knot free before he started braiding it back with quick, practiced fingers. He tied off the end with the binder before leaning around to press a gentle kiss to Yuri’s lips.

“I missed you doing that.” Yuri said in a small voice, “I can never get it quite as perfect as you do.”

“I kinda missed doing it too.” Otabek said as he pressed a kiss to Yuri’s forehead before leaning down to grab his boots, sitting to lace them onto his feet.

“Ok, we need to be way less fucking sappy if we’re going out in public, we’re getting as bad as Viktor and Katsudon.” Yuri grumbled, hiding his blush as he pulled his own boots onto his feet.

“I don’t think we could ever be that bad.” Otabek said laughing as he tried to imagine Yuri pulling the same over-the-top romantic shit that Viktor does, he shuddered at the thought. He finished tying his boots and stood grabbing his own leather jacket from where he had tossed it across a chair the night before. He patted his jacket pockets to check for his wallet and grabbed his phone off the nightstand before turning to Yuri, “Ready?”

“Fuck, yeah.” Yuri said smiling as he gripped Otabek’s hand, linking their fingers together. “Take me to dinner.”

“As you command, котенок”  
___________________________________________________________________________

Otabek is sitting in the green room with Seung-gil the next night, spending their last hour of free time before they go on stage trying to throw M&M’s into each other’s mouths from across the room. He doesn’t hear the door open as Seung-gil throws one particularly hard, hitting JJ right between the eyebrows.

“What. The. Fuck. Guys?” He asks, looking between the M&M on the floor and Otabek and Seung-gil.

“You want an M&M JJ?” Seung-gil asks completely straight faced, Otabek just sitting in silence for a moment before bursting into laughter, JJ and Seung-gil following moments later.

“Alright, what are you guys doing besides throwing candy at unsuspecting victims?” JJ asks, moving Otabek’s feet up off the couch where he is lounging, sitting and then dropping them again, now in his lap.

“That’s pretty much it.” Otabek says tilting his head.

“Where’s Leo at?” Seung-gil asks, eating a handful of M&M’s instead of throwing them to Otabek.

“They had to check his in-ears again. Something about the levels changing once they finished the set-up for Beks’ rig.” JJ said, reaching to grab a water from the table behind them, downing half the bottle in one gulp.

Otabek feels his phone buzz in his pocket, stretching to the side to slide it out of his pocket, unlocking the screen with a swipe upwards. He clicks the ‘messages’ icon and is unsurprised that it’s a message from Yuri.

 **From:** Yura <3  
_ughhh viktor is being annoying, he says i have to stay in the vip area, he wont let me come see you_

 **To:** Yura <3  
_Well, you should listen to him. We don’t have much time before we go on and I want to make sure you’re where you need to be when the show starts. You can come back here when our set is done, promise._

 **From:** Yura <3  
_ughhh fine. Tell Leo to keep his chatter to a minimum during your set, its boring as fuck_

Otabek decides that doesn’t need a response as he shakes his head, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

“Plisetsky getting anxious?” JJ asks with a smirk. Otabek has to fight the stab of jealousy that pushes to the surface at JJ even mentioning Yuri. He was going to have to work through that.

“Viktor’s holding him hostage in the VIP area.” Otabek says shaking his head, turning towards the door when it opens, revealing Leo with one in ear resting against his collarbone.

“You guys ready? Show time in 5, they want us to head to the stage.”

Otabek and Seung-gil follow after Leo as he exits back through the door, watching Leo push in his other in ear as they hear JJ rushing to get ahead of them.

“Wait, guys. It’s the last night of tour, we gotta get a pre-show selfie.” JJ, holds out his phone winking with a wide smile, Leo smiles brightly as Otabek and Seung-gil scowl in the back of the picture. Otabek holds up a thumbs up. “The fans are gonna love this.” Is all JJ says as he taps away at his phone, probably posting it to his instagram and twitter.

They seperate to each head to their own entrance points, Leo giving Otabek a pat on his back as he takes a step up to get to his synth set up. Their pre-show video is playing now, Otabek sneaks under the cover of darkness to stand at his keyboard, double checking that everything is in order on his laptop before he waits for this cue. He nods to Seung-gil as he slips behind his drum pad, JJ and Leo both waiting in the wings.

He notices the pre-show video coming to an end as he quickly presses the first button on his push, letting his hands drop to start the opening chords to ‘2/14’ as the lights come up on the stage, fans screaming. He hears and then sees JJ as the guitar comes in, the crowd’s screams getting louder as the guitarist walks closer towards them. Leo slides onto stage and grips his microphone, effortlessly sliding into the vocals as he moves around stage, being a show man and playing to the crowd.

_Second guess these words of mine, I always thought that I'd be fine with you_  
_But ever since we crossed that line_  
_got your green eyes in the back of my mind, it’s true_  
_But I can’t be just friends_  
_you're messing with my head_  
_and I know what I said_  
_but, these feelings they keep runnin' the red_

Otabek’s eyes scan the balcony next to the stage until he sees Yuri dancing, his blonde hair loose over his shoulders. He falls into the familiar groove of their set as they keep playing, transitioning from familiar material into some of their newer songs, feeling the excitement from the crowd, feeding off of the energy. It feels like no time at all when they finish ‘Legendary’ and JJ and Seung-gil slip off stage, Leo stopping to speak to the crowd.

“Hello Chicago! It’s so great to be here with you guys tonight!” He pauses for a moment as the crowd screams. “We’ve been having a lot of fun on this tour, and tonight is actually the last show.” A bunch of ‘awws’ from the crowd. “I know, we’ve been having a great time. Now, how would you guys feel about slowing it down for a few songs?” The crowd roars, Leo smiling and grabbing his guitar to sling it over his shoulders. “How would you guys feel about Otabek singing this next one for you guys?” The crowd roars grow even bigger, Otabek smiling slightly as he adjusts the mic that had been placed above his keyboard. “So, for those of you who have been to other shows on this tour, or just those who stalk internet forums to find out what our setlist is, I’m gonna let you know that we’re gonna mix it up a bit. Hope you enjoy it guys!”

As Otabek starts into ‘Be Alright’ he finds himself sounding less wrecked, less attached. It’s probably making the overall impact of the song suffer, but he just can’t find it in himself to feel heartbroken after reconciling with Yuri the day before. The crowd still seems to love it, screaming loudly and surprisingly, even some singing along. They make it through ‘Getting over you’ and ‘ My Thoughts on You’, Seung-gil appearing from nowhere for the third song, before Leo speaks again into the mic.

“So, here’s where we are going to go a little rogue everyone. Otabek, care to introduce the next one?”

“So, this next one, is a little bit of a throwback…” Otabek says, double checking his keyboard settings as he looks over at the VIP balcony again, catching Yuri’s eyes as well as he can from the distance. “Some of you hardcore fans might recognize it...I wrote this song 8 years ago, for someone very special to me. Let’s see if any of you recognize it.”

His hands form the opening chords to ‘Movement’ as he nods to Seung-gil to come in at the same time. Leo comes and sits on the edge of Otabek’s platform, letting Otabek sing the lead as he fills in the harmonies.

_I still watch you when you're groovin'_  
_As if through water from the bottom of a pool_  
_You're movin' without movin'_  
_And when you move, I'm moved_  
_You are a call to motion_  
_There, all of you a verb in perfect view_  
_Like Jonah on the ocean_  
_When you move, I'm moved_

  
_When you move_  
_I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be_  
_When you move_  
_I could never define all that you are to me_

  
_So move me, baby_  
_Shake like the bough of a willow tree_  
_You do it naturally_  
_Move me, baby_

He hears the voices of the crowd singing along with him, his hands effortlessly playing the song from his memory. He spares a glance towards Yuri and thinks he notices a bright smile on his face, but he can’t be sure from this distance.  
The rest of their set passes just as fast as it usually does. Their faster tracks getting the crowd jumping and dancing along. Before Otabek knows it their playing through their encore and thanking the crowd, walking forward to bow together before they walk off the stage. The four of them crowd into a large group hug as they get back into the green room, Otabek and Seung-gil begging off after a few seconds.

Otabek peels off his leather jacket where it’s stuck to him from sweat, running his fingers through his sweat damp hair as he falls in a heap against the couch. He hears Leo and JJ loudly conversing near him but he doesn’t focus on any of it, simply sitting back against the couch as he drinks from a water bottle offered to him by Seung-gil. He breaks out of his haze as JJ shakes him on the shoulder.

“Don’t fall asleep yet, Beks! We’ve got celebrating to do!” JJ’s eyes look slightly crazed, a look that Otabek has learned leads to far too much alcohol and bad decisions.

“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s a no.”

JJ’s protest is cut off by the opening of the green room door, Viktor walking in with a huge grin on his face. Otabek doesn’t even see Yuri behind Viktor before he has a lapful of the lithe blond man.

“Beka! You were amazing!” He presses a kiss to Otabek’s cheek, winding his arms around his neck.

“What? No love for us Yuri?” Leo asks in mock betrayal, clearly teasing.

“Nah, Plisetsky’s only got eyes for Beks.” JJ says smiling. Otabek stops the thought of ‘clearly not enough to not sleep with you’ in his head before it can spill out his mouth, he doesn’t want to go there.

“Correct. I do.” Yuri says, leaning his side into Otabek’s chest as he turns towards the rest of the room, his hand playing with the hair at the back of Otabek’s neck. “You played our song.” He whispers into Otabek’s ear, pulling back so Otabek can see his large smile.

“I mean, you could argue a lot of them are our songs. But, yeah. I thought that it would be good to play it. I haven’t sung it for you in too long. I still love watching you move, махаббатым.” He presses a kiss to the side of Yuri’s head as they turn back to the others, finding them looking at them with fond expressions.

“You guys are cute.” Leo says smiling.

“Yeah, I forgot what it was like having Yuri on tour with us. Means we get Otabek when he is a lot less surly.” JJ says teasingly as he sits down on the opposite edge of the couch from Otabek and Yuri, swatting away Yuri’s foot when he tries to kick JJ in the thigh. Otabek just watches Yuri’s face as he banters with his bandmates. Damn, he’s in love with this man. He is still finding it hard to have JJ and Yuri interacting at all, which is something that he will have to work through. But, he’s finding the task less daunting by the second as he looks over the faces of those around him, and mostly as Yuri’s face as he throws sassy remarks at JJ. They would work through it together, Otabek had no doubt in his mind about it. They would work through it together, for the rest of their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I am thinking about writing more in this universe, and perhaps writing two concurrent partner pieces from Yuri and JJ's perspectives. If that is something that would interest you please let me know! I have many ideas about things from Yuri's perspective, especially ways to include Yuuri and Mila, since they are only mentioned in this fic. 
> 
> I have a playlist of songs that I imagine the band plays for their set they are listed below in no particular order:  
> -Dean Lewis 'Be Alright'  
> -Lauv 'Getting Over You'  
> -The Band CAMINO 'My Thoughts on You'  
> -Foreign Air 'Loud Magic'  
> -Barns Courtney 'Glitter and Gold'  
> -Andrew Belle 'Wants What it Wants'  
> -Bryce Fox 'Horns'  
> -grandson 'Bury me Face Down'  
> -Sam Tinnesz 'Play with Fire Ft.Yacht Money' (Song Ft Sara Crispino)  
> -Lauv 'I Like Me Better'  
> -Royal Deluxe 'Wanted Man'  
> -Welshly Arms 'Legendary'  
> -Foreign Air 'Free Animal'  
> -The Band CAMINO '2/14'  
> -Hozier 'Movement'  
> -The Man Who 'Bet on You'  
> -flor 'hold on'  
> -BANNERS 'Someone to You'  
> -Royal Deluxe 'Dangerous'  
> -Barns Courtney 'Hellfire'
> 
> I used Starkysnarks 'Kazakhstan 101 or How to Otabek' for the Kazakh used in this story you can find it [here](http://starkysnarks.tumblr.com/post/154282821426/kazakhstan-101-or-how-to-otabek). It is a very helpful guide to all things Otabek in regards to being Kazakh and living in Almaty and what that would mean for his life an family. All Russian terms were googled. Please let me know if something doesn't seem right. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! If you did please leave kudos or a comment telling me what you thought! All my Love!
> 
> You can find me at Scarletwitchy on Tumblr.


End file.
